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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Penchant For Predicamentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: zhi wei
    ASL Info:    17, Male, Malaysia.
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 171/203/53
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 908



    Description:
       this came out ofnowwhere, seriously. And I've never written in such a strange style... in my opinion, it's strange. thoughts and feedback very welcome. and give me your interpretations of it, please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPenchant For Predicamentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Curtains of cloth
    woven in a weary white
    hang from end to end,
    window to window
    of the four walls of your world,
    which wallow
    in the purest of all paints.
    (why, the purest of all pains!)
    Arranged in a manner so geometrical,
    that ’tis almost grotesque.
    And almost so,
    (O, fortunately “almost so”!)
    For that faintest stain
    of dirt and dust.

    I am so sorry for it:
    for that faintest stain!
    No regrets, none indeed!
    For ’tis an apology
    uttered with amusement
    an apology for my penchant for predicament.

    This stanza will be a souvenir for its kind!
    After this, I’ll have no more numerical rhymes combined.
    If once, I saw perfection with the sight of Mind,
    a toast to me, for I am now blind!

    © lee zhi wei 2005




    Submitted on 2005-08-26 07:04:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You are right... It's weird but nevertheless you have wonderfully colored your world. The background was well hued and everything was well-placed. Well sort of at least since it's very original and all...

    According to me... hmm... I would say that you have arranged your world in "geometric" perfection but then again with all the dust and dirt, your work was tarnished with it. Not only was it dust and dirt though, you also stained it but it was very slight that it can hardly be noticed. :O
    But I guess the ending was really weird...
    but I like it! Cuz I'm one I love sad endings, two I'm almost as blind as bat... (Not really though, just damn near-sighted.)
    But according to me... ahem... ;) You became blind because you were rather amused by the stain and thus you never regretted and from now on could not see the stain...
    Well, I know it's an off-shot but I have to take the shot... :)
    And by the way keep up the good work... :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Ardor | [ Reply to This ]
      heyo!
    Wow, it's a different style, really, but not really strange. I loved it! The paranthesis that you added twice were as a second voice and I could picture this white room with those curtains, spotless, sun filtering through, and there...oh there...one spot of dirt. Apology, eh. Loved the title, penchant for predicament. It's poetry in itself!

    The impression I got out of this piece was that everything in this world is so perfect, or so close to perfection, that you feel in a difficult situation, you feel uncomfortable, slightly misplaced. And you are apologizing for that. And the last stanza is explaining perhaps how you yourself were once seeking perfection, but now it has worn out, and as you said, you are blind.

    I'm sure there must be more to it all. I'm being a tad shallow, forgive me, cos I just woke up, and feel a bit nauseated from lack of food, hehe. But I enjoyed reading this over three times and trying to dig deeper. Be glad to explain a bit more? Thanks!

    And thanks for the read! Good work and keep up!

    cheers,
    drika
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by silverdrika | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow what a sagacious and fervently captivating write...It is indeed very different and out of the norm!I loved the way you intricately conversed your thoughts for us...As for your final verse that was just different...I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece...I loved its originality, this was such an astutely penned down piece...Nevertheless, you have to continue to embrace these moments where your creative juices are at their peak and breathe a fine craft...Glad you shared this one!Be happy...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]


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