Desert Paranoya by shoggoth

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Submission Name: Desert Paranoya dots

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Author:	shoggoth
ASL Info:	21/m/croatia
Elite Ratio:	4.71 - 78/84/30
Words:	93

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	310
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	638

Description:
Sometimes paranoya is justified by itself.
The man in my poem died just from the fear.
Fear of nothing, but a fear.

Feel free to share your thougths.

Desert Paranoya dots

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On my journey through the East
Amongst the quilling dunnes of gold
Foreseeing omens, straying thoughts
Through these lands distressed and old

I now have travelled many miles
And horrors that were here before
Arrive again and haunt my mind
Attacked by straying thoughts once more

So the omens reappear
Stretching on the rigid sand
Waiting for me to collapse
My death is yearned for and at hand

Now just fewer moments lie
Before I breathe out my last breath
The evil desert fed at last
Feasting on another death

Submitted on 2005-08-26 08:53:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I enjoyed reading this. It seemed very well written in regards to form, imagery, and imagination.
The evil desert of fear. How to escape without dying? Does reincarnation apply here : ) JC.
Great write!
| Posted on 2007-03-25 00:00:00 | by Vasudeva | [ Reply to This ]
  It would take me a long time to sculpt my words into a poem this grande. You put such a plot so beautifully, you humble me, good shoggoth. I like how the desert eats him up. Just another victim... another casualty of... paranoya... with a y... that rocks so hard. Seriously. That could be a band name. Paranoya. I love it. Bloody brilliant. Peace.-rue
| Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought this was pretty well written and had a good rhyme scheme to it. The poem flowed pretty well and I'd say over all a good write.
Hang in there and have a wonderful day,
!Doc`
| Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! This is an awesome piece of work. Wonderful, evocative imagery and good rhyme. The second stanza really took my breath away. Terrific work.

Peace,

Joe
| Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  ooooo...good imagery...I can see the vultures circling. Being dragged down by the heat of the desert with no oasis in sight. I like it. The last two lines were great too.

Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the imagry you used and how you express fear in the form of a desert. I can relate to fear being a downfall. I fear so many things and they hold me back in life and are never really justified. My favorite line is..

now just fewer moments lie
before i breath my last breath
the evil desert fed at last
feasting on another death

I thought the wole poem flowed really well and the ryme sceme is very clever. I really good poem and now one of my favorites!

Robert
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]

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