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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My American Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1367
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1404



    Description:
       this is about when I made the decision to leave New York and try something else-on my own-a long way away from anybody I even knew. ALONE in the great big world -and the falling down etc.-it doesn't really matter what anybody thinks of this -I just want younger kids to get out there and do something/anything--take a hammer to your playstation or whatever you call it and go, go, go....and live, cause you can not learn more than when you are on your own.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy American Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life's major desicions
    confusing they are.
    It isn't how you play this game,
    but if you were one of the stars.

    Things just didnít go as I planned.
    In and/or out of love,
    I will never understand.
    Falling out of control,
    still spiralling
    but all the while true to my soul.

    I am passionate,
    but I can rarely handle it.
    I am so in touch with my emotion.
    but if they understood
    the ďjust to say HiĒ card I wrote them
    they would have seen my devotion,
    and that I am so very sorry,
    that I had to be different,
    but I had to be me.
    And you know me. I wasn't going to listen.
    I knew I would miss them,
    but it's the way it had to be, for me.
    Trying to be something other than
    the usual pretend to beís.

    I had to experience this first hand
    by myself fucking it up,
    falling down and toughening up,
    and without anyones help.... getting up.
    And of course doing it over and over again.
    Itís what I think makes the man.

    Some will disagree with me and thatís fine,
    but mediocrity isnít my sceneÖ.
    I wont apologize, not this time.
    For I am living My American Dream.

    lamemansterms




    Submitted on 2005-08-26 10:02:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this piece. I have always wondered how different I would be had I gone away for college, or moved out of state, or more than 10 miles from my mother, or....you get the idea.

    I like to think that I have made my own way, but every step I've had family there. Mother, brother, sister. And when you have extended family so close sometimes it's hard to break free and just 'Be".

    I like this piece alot, LT. You are definately your own person. And we all love you for that!

    Take care of you, sexy!
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude, as much as you think that I may have gone off on an evil comment spree, it is over. I think that this is what we're all trying to do. All doing our best to be ourselves, and hoping that we actually make something of ourselves. And I guess that I'm about to head off on a journey something similar to yours, I leave on Saturday for university and to live with 3 other people who I don't even know. Plus the fact that there are like an other 10,000+ people on campus (college plus university), it's going to be weird. As I ended 'Never Ending with:' "Success is similar to beauty/It lies in the beholder." We're the only ones who decide when the job's done. Awesome job dude.

    ~Jessica
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      The American Dream is what you make it? You are your own American Dream and this peice so totally captures that meaning. Right off the bat it reminded me of a book by Hunter S. Thomposn a.k.a Roule Duke, its called (and I'm sure you have heard of it) "Fear and Loathing in Lost Vagas" That book is all about the hunt for the American Dream, you have to read it if you already haven't. They made a rather popular movie version of it with Benicio del Toro and Johnny Deep( by far his best movie, well... perhaps "Edward Scissorhands"). I have read the book about 15 times and watched the movie about 30. I can say I'm a fanatic, I even have the poster on my wall. Well, to my point, Thompson lived his life the way he wanted to, he created his own American Dream, much like the one you have so skillfully portrayed in this peice. H.S.T. took his own life in Aspen, Colorado on Feb. 21st of this year, but get this, one of his last wishes was to have himself cremated and then shot out of a cannonball. And although I don't quite support the idea of suicide, I still think he serves as an idol in the American Dream. Well done, I loved it. I really liked how you highlighted the bad times too, when Lady Luck just wasn't in your corner. It happens, thats life, that the Amreican Dream. Overcome what may, and get to know your own life. Well done, this is going on my favorites for sure. Thanks for the read, PEACE.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by ConScribe | [ Reply to This ]
      Tell it like it is, Brother...

    I loved your opening stanza, Mike, it's my motto in life (along with a few others interwoven with several expletives), and you paint love's story extremely well, there's a lot of guys who will identify with your musings and reasoning.

    There ain't nothing as independent as independence, and the only dreams that really matter are your own...

    Bloody excellent write!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      When I was 19 I moved to Springfield Mo. I had no friends, no family beyond my new husband and no idea of anything about my new home. People thought I was crazy and couldn't for the life of them understand why I did it. Your poem says exactly why I did it. You captured that edgy need to be free, be on your own, make your own screw ups and have to fix them yourself. Incredible work my dear.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes indeed! I figured while I was here I might as well read something and I am glad I did! This is really good! I applaud you for going out on your own into the world like you have done. I must say it takes a lot of courage and determination! A very admirable quality I must say! I am an independent person myself and I too believe that you have to live your life for you and do what is going to make you happy! Nobody else can feel what you feel and nobody else can live your life! I think you made a wonderful decision and the poem you have written about it is really good as well! It is very well written and full of sincerity! Nothing here that I didn't like! Very nicely done! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the theme and the journey you went on as the poem progressed as well as the realizations you came to. From that perspective it's a good poem and an honest one. I got confused in the "had to be me" stanza" This piece feels a little disjointed when it's read and I think it would be better in freeverse. Enjoyed you story and good for you
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel that you should always follow your heart and allow your mind to properly guide you. Just because you were born somewhere doesn't mean that is your destiny to stay there.

    I have a very objective family to all of my decisions. For a while I allowed them to intimidate me and my choices. But I came to a realization that they have lived their life...they made their choices...I was given my own life. And I will control it.

    It is hard to leave a place you know, and just take a chance. That really shows a lot of strength. I think that if you stay focused on your goals...then you will accomplish success.

    *picks up hammer* I don't really want to bash my PSP...but...I am sure I can find something around here...

    Great write. Your emotions are well felt.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi,
    I have to say you hit the nail on the head. I agree with you 100%. Put the games down. There's more to life. You did right to experience life on your own. I always told my kids, I cannot pick your life for you. I will support you on whatever you decide to do(as long as it was legal). If you want to be a "garbage collector", slinging burgers, doctor, lawyer, etc. I rather for them to experienced the ups and downs in the real world. They have. It's the same way with their relationships. I will accept whoever they are with as long as that person treat them with respect. I cannot pick their future. It is theirs and not mine. Some parents miss out things in their own lives, so they want to live through their kids and that is wrong.

    You are sending out a good message to young folks. Growing up is hard but they have to do it. Sitting playing games all day is not going to put food in their mouths. Life is not all about games. You did a great write! Your 4th stanza is the power punch. Take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      I never realized how hard it is to read something so emotional by you while listening to Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds blaring on the tv. So I had to read it again when it was over.

    Its funny how people try to force kids to be who they want them to be, instead of being an individual. As I was growing up, I was always asked, "Why can't you be like a normal kid?" "Why can't you stay out of trouble just for once?" But you see, I learned from my mistakes, and its not like my parents were there to help fix them. I fixed them myself because they were too busy with their own lives.

    And I see the point you are making here, because I know that I am a better person now because of the way I lived when I was young. But unfortunately, not everyone turns out that way.

    And I, just like you am living my American dream.

    This really is a good lesson to those who think that there will always be someone there to take care of you and help you out, because there won't. And you hit the nail on the head by saying you can only learn from experience, and only you can fix the mistakes you make.

    This really was a good one LT. I commend you.

    Crystal
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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