the great reality of death
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Description:
I did not write this from personal experience. I just thought this is what it would be like to die or at least what i would be like.
the great reality of death
You feel it creeping slowly a shortness of breath an ache in the joints a feeling that something is just not right you find it harder to sleep at night you pass it off as just getting older you accept it with denial and throw it over your shoulder pressing on pretending everything is normal this is just a phase, a morning cold that with a few advil will soon be gone then you remember the things you were told you remember the times you were unsafe and bold just gratefull to have someone to hold you never expected the worst that nature really can take its course and leave you terrified of the truth Soon you just accept this ball and chain you find a reason for the constant pain you start to flail and gasp as it brings down towards a dark watery grave you beggin to have regrets you try to remember all that you've tried to forget because any memory is good, even if it is bad when you know it will be your last you rush to make amends to put together the broken ends before time brings your last goodbye to a close you scramble to get saved to fill your heart with the eternal love that you have reject and replaced with tears in hope that you will have happiness at the end of your years so many thoughts and so many emotions acumulate to the point where you wish you could just go ahead and die instead of lying in bed and wondering why why you had give up hoping for the rest of your life to keep unfolding into a mystery of new promises and experiences ones that are now just a fading dreaming upon a great awakening to the reality of death you now have nuthing left..... |
Submitted on 2005-08-26 11:58:57 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| This was an extremely well written poem. A few little mistakes, but really, I barely even noticed them. I loved the rhyming, and most of all, I loved the meaning. You described what it might feel like for some people so well. It reminds me of my mother. She died about 4 weeks ago and I know she didn't just die in her sleep. She was suffering for a while, but neither her nor I knew what was happening. But anyways, I live this piece and I'm adding it to my favorites. Great work. ~Piper | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ] | First thoughts: the ending is spoiled by the fact that you spelled "nothing" as "nuthing". | The fear and denial of death was built up nicely in the first three stanzas. However, the piece seemed less controlled beyond this point, as though you became a bit enamoured by all the ideas about death. The "watery grave" reference was also a tad random. Other than that, a good concept. Quite enjoyable on the whole. -paperdoll | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by paperdoll | [ Reply to This ] | I dont know why, but this puts me in mind of the kind of people that let impending death take over life. This is an excellent write in that perspective and I hope to all the gods I go down with a fight. I have watched so many people succumb to the eventual fate and feel that is why they die sooner. | It's sort of like a giving up - giving in to fate. Don't get me wrong, I like this a lot and it is an indepth look at how death can take over and done very well...I personally hope to die with a big grin on my face and hope it takes them a week to put my legs back together... Nice write Lisa | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ] | |
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