Finding My Heart by jaycee

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Submission Name: Finding My Heart dots

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Author:	jaycee
ASL Info:	38/F/ Texas
Elite Ratio:	4.85 - 2410/1167/153
Words:	210

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Serious
Total Views:	348
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1420

Description:
This is a new country song that I wrote on the drive home the other day, after doing the hyproglo challenge poem. The tune is rather slow in a Reba McIntire style..very different for me.

Finding My Heart dots

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Too many days of holdin it in,
too many nights of cryin within
too many jokes without a hint of a smile
And now being together
is the same as miles.

I can't tell you when it happened,
and I sure don't know when,
but we don't talk anymore;
we don't love like back then-
There's no more soft sexy whispers
deep in the night,
And now I'm not sure
If we could make things alright

I'm thinking of leavin'
and finding my heart
Cause it feels like together
is more like apart
Im thinking of putting away our yesterdays
and makin' a new start

I'm thinking of leavin'
And finding my heart

No matter how hard I try
to think things will all work out
I need a love I can depend on
And know without a doubt
that you'll stand right there beside me
through the thick and through the thin.

You were that man once.
Can you be him again?

I'm thinking of leavin'
and finding my heart
Cause it feels like together
is the same as apart
Im thinking of putting away our yesterdays
and makin' a new start

I'm thinking of leavin'
And finding my heart

Submitted on 2005-08-26 14:10:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is really good
I have a friend who is a country and western singer
And she is fantastic
This poem would really make a pretty song
You wrote this brilliantlly
Sometimes we seem to forget Love may leave the heart behind
Beautiful!!!!
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  this was pretty good jan. i liked the overall quality of the song. the rhythm is just right. and the words too. i dont really find anything to criticise on this piece. to tell you the truth i was never a huge country fan, so i cant really help you a lot.

but i can tell you the words to this song are great. really are. i loved the line where you say that together is the same as apart. that goes in my "classic lines" group. it's beautiful! would it be called anti thesis or paradox?

Zu
| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a fantastic write and i can even hear it as a song which is rare for me :)...i find ti so difficult to hear peoples lyrics on here most of the time...but this one was easy..no task at all...it flows so well and the ryhme is so natural...i love the whole song but the second verse is my fav and im sure many people could relate to this...

I can't tell you when it happened,
and I sure don't know when,
but we don't talk anymore;
we don't love like back then-
There's no more soft sexy whispers
deep in the night,
And now I'm not sure
If we could make things alright

i do so hope that your man can be a man for you once again...and am glad that you havnt lost hope...even when we feel things are not so good and that there may not in fact be any hope...hope can still live...despite it all...love it!...stormy
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  This writing brings out a sad situation when two people grow so far apart that there is no hope of repair. To far gone. A well written poem!
| Posted on 2005-11-01 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
  well there, pretty simple, but often times, the simple things tend to be the best. I could see a girl sing this, it flowed off the tongue well, but other parts of it didn't. i guess thats because i can't hear the way you've sang it, lyrics with music change quite a bit, that i know for sure. lol...well there lady, take care and good job

austin
| Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
  This is definately a great country song. It would be fantabulous to hear a melody behind it, but the one in my head sounds great to me! The words to this song is something that so many, myself included, can relate to that it's not even funny. I like how the message I got out of this is that you weren't willing to just throw your hands up in the air and walk away, there could still be room to repair the damage that was done. There is hesitation that proves that the feelings in your heart are true. Really nice write!
Candi
| Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice lyrics, a perfect country song.
I love the repetitive "I'm thinking of leavin'" It brings out the theme of the song so well.

I imagined my own melody line, I'd love to hear yours, as you wrote it.

Well done

Be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  yes, a true love will stand by you in times of trouble and not just turn tail and run.

i could hear this tune in my head, a slow burner with maybe a little pedal steel in there.. sometimes it's just time to move on and go where the love is... i hope you find it because it is out there for you.
love,
~Cat
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey, good song. The lyrics smooth flowly...ummm...flow smoothly.

Yes, it is definately a country song. Dont you hate being with someone and still feeling alone? Thats just what I get out of this and I think thats the point, but that is just my opinion.

You were that man once.
Can you be him again?

Those lines there show a slight glimmer of hope. Sort of doesnt fit with the rest of the write. But, hope exists everywhere I reckon, even for the hopeless situations.
Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Not bad...I could picture it being sung by Reba. Nice job. Maybe you should move to Nashville and write county songs...because these were beautiful words. I could fee the pain of the words, not knowing if she could have him they way she once did. Very nice.
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Sweets | [ Reply to This ]

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