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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Forget our Namesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Naymless
    ASL Info:    15/F/phx, az
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 142/110/33
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1336



    Description:
       Well I don't really know what this one is about. It can be anything you want it to be, but when you come up with a good excuse tell me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Forget our Namesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I just want someone to scream in my face,
    Tell me all my faults,
    I wanna hear it,
    From someone who hates me,

    Screaming for me to step out of my world,
    As it catches fire,
    Someone save me,
    Iím just a little suicidal,

    Carve out your name,
    I think I could forget you,
    Write to me,
    Send me your deepest fears,
    I donít want to be destroyed without a reason,

    With fear comes a sense of anticipation,
    And I canít wait,
    For the clocks to fall off the walls,
    Timeís been wandering forever,
    Letís put it to rest,

    I plan to be cremated,
    So I canít be involved with the living dead's,
    Opinion of claiming what they once had,
    I wonít let a mortician take my eyes,
    While the world still has to show me,
    All its deepest secrets,

    Slowly but festinating,
    My life falls in the more common of fates,
    To die clenching your heart,
    As it breaks,
    But doctor I donít want heart surgery,
    I wanna die just a little more,

    Come fall with me,
    Weíll fall in sweet secrecy,
    Until we reach the ground,
    But until then,
    Weíll be the only angles,
    Without a purpose.




    Submitted on 2005-08-27 00:12:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The last line is the line that stands out to me..
    "Weíll be the only angles,
    Without a purpose."
    Perhaps in falling you will find yourself and your purpose.
    That the end will become the begging.

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      this definetelt read as a rant read, where you were pissed off at the world and letting them know it. im not sure what to critic here so i guess all i can say it to maybe incorporate more of a flow with this piece other then that i enjoyed reading this. Hope to hear from you soon. Ciao for now, Amber
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]
      For the clocks to fall off the walls,
    Timeís been wandering forever,
    :') Thanks for the comments.
    When I read this I felt like i was a book falling from the case. Straight-fall to the ground closed tight, but on impact the book shatters open, the pages in plan-view. I don't know if you meant Angles or angels but I think you shouldn't change it. Angles are the foundations of construction and the buildings of society:) Good Job!
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
      This write intriqued me
    It made me think is there really such a person who is only happy being sad
    I personally do not believe so but its definately a question that makes me wonder
    A great write!
    Take Care
    Ron


    Please if you get a chance please take a lookmat some of my poetry and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for your comments on myne- I've got to say- I love the title of thys one. And after reading it- I lyke the very first verse the most. I keep thinking how I want that. I want a friend for a year- and then I want them to hate me- and tell me how they REALLY feel about me. Get the real truth about it. About me. Yeah... that would be kewl...
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm, it's quite introspective and analytical, in a cynical kind of way...cool stuff. Although I didn't really like the first two stanzas or the last one. Somehow they don't fit in with the feelings you're expressing in the rest of the poem, they're too much like... an 'intro' and an 'outro', and I think this would work even better if was more straight-forward, since its best feature is the imagery.
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good but i'm just stupid and i'm cunfused on what it is about i get soe but some i don't get.the parts i get whreer really good. you seem to to cunfused about the world.
    my fave line was

    "With fear comes a sense of anticipation,
    And I canít wait,
    For the clocks to fall off the walls,
    Timeís been wandering forever,
    Letís put it to rest,"

    well hope hear from and keep up the good
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      yes I feel like the others. Hard to put into words how this write makes me feel. But I liked it. Sounds like someone who is tired of others telling him all his faults which he already knows. Maybe a little sarcasim to. I'm not sure.
    Good Write. It makes everyone think about what the meaning could be.
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
      i cant really out my finger on it on what i think this is about. im also having trouble putting it into words. the most i can think of is someone is having problems and wants to die slowly and painfully but also wants to know the truth about something or some things. but i theres a deeper part to it thats the part i just cant put my finger on. lol. well anyways this was good stucture wise, the rhyming was good and there was a nice flow in this. just i still cant think of what it is exactly i think this is about...lol. and its kind of frustrating. o well.


    brenna
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like its about someone who is lonely and confused about the world and wants someone to stop them from harming themselves so they can lead a better life,maybe a sad love story in there somewhere also "to die clenching your heart,as it breaks"i enjoyed it though was well written.sorry dont hate you though :p
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
      if i could pinpoint what i thought it was about i would.. well what i feel it is about but cant put into words because i feel like that.. i wish people would just tell me what they think instead of trying to make me feel better and jsut fukin acting ilke my friend or foe or such.. all i want is the truth..
    I just want someone to scream in my face,
    Tell me all my faults,
    I wanna hear it,
    From someone who hates me,

    yeah.. good job.. :) if only i knew the words to describe the feelings..
    danielle
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]


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