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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To perceivedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: musclebound350
    ASL Info:    26/male
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 197/202/70
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 880
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611



    Description:
       Just feeling alone. Bored as usual.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo perceivedots
    -------------------------------------------


    my mind is racing
    brain cells heating up
    head spinning around
    yet I look calm an still

    I get up in the morning
    sitting here depressed
    watching life pass me by
    This terminal connects me to the world

    so many views
    philosophies and theories
    experiences told
    thoughts shared

    this simple machine
    used for complex words
    so many differences
    they all seem to share

    metaphors and similes
    used to translate ideas
    thoughts in our minds
    negativity in the air




    Submitted on 2005-08-27 14:52:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,
    Seems like a lot of people are depressed these days. I only had one day of depression and i learnt a lot from that day. I think you can even read what i wrote from it "Darker shade of black". The thing just really got to me that day and everytime i do start to feel that way, i just go back to this poem, cause i get to remember how it felt.

    You're really trying to perceive something but what it is i still cannot figure out. All these thoughts and it ends up being complex, somehow.

    Dont worry, you're still with the world. When you've disconnected yourself from it then you can start worrying.

    Although you've delivered this piece quite well, somehow, something is left missing. The air is in negativity? Is that it? Nothing else? Although small, very strong words.

    Take care...Peace...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      o dear! do you really feel this bad?poor you! at least you are using the internet to connect with the world...and of course this poem may help you to share your misery with the rest of us. am i missing something here? i can perceive that you are depressed but i cannot find the metaphors or similes of which you write? i tried to see if you were using depression itself as a metaphor for something else but then my brain fried. the piece of write looks neat . the form is regular and well paced. and you obviously are confident in your delivery.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]


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