Hey, Seems like a lot of people are depressed these days. I only had one day of depression and i learnt a lot from that day. I think you can even read what i wrote from it "Darker shade of black". The thing just really got to me that day and everytime i do start to feel that way, i just go back to this poem, cause i get to remember how it felt.
You're really trying to perceive something but what it is i still cannot figure out. All these thoughts and it ends up being complex, somehow.
Dont worry, you're still with the world. When you've disconnected yourself from it then you can start worrying.
Although you've delivered this piece quite well, somehow, something is left missing. The air is in negativity? Is that it? Nothing else? Although small, very strong words.
o dear! do you really feel this bad?poor you! at least you are using the internet to connect with the world...and of course this poem may help you to share your misery with the rest of us. am i missing something here? i can perceive that you are depressed but i cannot find the metaphors or similes of which you write? i tried to see if you were using depression itself as a metaphor for something else but then my brain fried. the piece of write looks neat . the form is regular and well paced. and you obviously are confident in your delivery. J