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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fun Lettersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aferisan
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 17/25/15
    Words: 755
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 245
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4510



    Description:
       trying out the "letter" format of story, but I hope its good to me, Read it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFun Lettersdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Dearest Jane,

    Jane, I shall arrive at our chateau in a week, if the fates allow it. They allow it simply because the area between you and me seems to affect my ability. I can remember our horses, stable them ready for me and you to ride a romantic picnic, for I have no other want in the world. I have thought of our marriage, we shall be married in our favorite grove, the one we shared as children, the one where we first kissed. I have obtained a finely embroidered dress, with a matching veil for you, a true beauty you will be.
    Our families will be included, respectfully denying entrance to those racous ladies and lords of court. The beastly behavior of these savages, they slash at each other with well-articulated comments, demolish each other more maliciously than any african beast, the court is simply a battleground for the nobles. I promise you we will raise our children with the civility of lords, and the personalities of commoners.
    War has been on the tongues of all at court, but nothing could stop our love, not ten thousand Russians invading it, we'd simply invite them and order more wine.

    I cannot wait, so wait for me my love.

    ------------------------------------------------------

    Dearest Jane,

    I am most sorry for my leaving so sudden, just a day after our wedding, but this is serious. War has been declared!, I cherished those few days I had with you, but now I must command a regiment of men, I hold one fifth of Britain's troops within my command, I fear combat, but our love shall be my shield. I promise not to take risks for you my love, but it is truly a battle, anything that would let me reach you quicker, be it me sacrificing my life I would take that risk.
    I must go now, the soldiers require one of my inspiring speeches, we are going to the front lines of the war.

    Forever Yours, Henry

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Dear Jane,
    I am being accused of war crimes, it’s ironic, the first leave I get they punish me. I am sure I will be let off with a slap on the hand, I was accused of beating a enemy soldier to death. I have told this to none but you, but I had blamed him for our separation, our perpetual state of distance, he made a certain remark that dug up old feelings, old passions. If I were younger I would have cried, but the war has toughened me, I am no longer a weak-minded romantic. I taught him fairly for his actions, and taught his brethren more with my tactics of brutality, efficient and invisible. I still think of you, sometimes Jane, but do not get lost in the assumption I'm soft.

    Sincerely, Henry

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    Jane,

    Wait for me, I get leave in two weeks

    Henry

    Henry walked into his house, his former clean shaven face disfigured by a hairy chin. He looked more gaunt, his figure was stockier, larger, but his face was weathered, cheeks sucked in perpetually, hair drooping down. Mud stuck to his hair as he walked in a slow lingering gait. His head would always twitch and peer about, vigilantly spying invisible guns, hearing invisible shells.
    He opened the door to Jane, her face no longer as beautiful. She still had a pretty face, her physique lacked its vigor of youth, yet retained the shape of womanly attributes. Her hair was thin and eyes had shriveled, once big brown eyes had now become shriveled black ones, wispy hair upon her head made her look much worse.
    "The war has shown me many things, I am much more of a man now, more than you ever wanted", said Henry, staring at Jane, for some reason with tears in his eyes.
    "I've waited so long Henry, but you will have to go back, probably more wrecked than now", said Jane, emphasizing the word "long".
    “You aren’t my Henry, I’m not your Jane, there’s nothing left but the past”
    "I know a way to regain our vigor, to live forever, to truly leave this war behind", said Henry.

    Two gunshots were heard, a standard military rifle sat between Jane Taylor, and Henry Burgewood, both with bullet holes in their heads. The only thing of value or possible importance was a stack of letters, addressed to Jane, yet not explaining completely what happened.




    Submitted on 2005-08-27 20:32:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well done, you've really captured the harshness of war without really including it. Not only that but you portrayed the couple as young and loving then managed to portray that love throught the bitter-sweet ending. I read the whole thing non-stop and the end blew me off. But it added much more that I could have imagined. I loved this story. I think I'll read it again.
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      *applause*

    Oh, well done! You had me enthralled from the start, and the format you used was perfect.

    A good story needs to have a "hook" start, and captivating story, and a great finish.

    I think you have it!

    Well done. and welcome to Elte!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]



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