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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wish Upon A Teardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: playcrackthesky
    ASL Info:    21/f/IA
    Elite Ratio:    4.46 - 463/457/88
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1111



    Description:
       I'm not really sure about this one. In my head I can sing it, but I'm not sure it'll make sense to anyone, I'm not sure it makes sense to me. It's kinda of a jumble of all these different feelings, being scared about falling in love mainly, just because I've never been so vulnerable I guess, and that scares me. But I know I shouldn't be scared, because I know I won't get hurt, at least I think I know that. Whatever any help is surely welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWish Upon A Teardots
    -------------------------------------------


    It gets so cold at night
    When your heat is gone
    And Iím shattering
    With thoughts of you.

    Iím scared to know
    Iíve fallen in love
    My heart is torn from me
    And shot to you.

    The rain falls
    And Iím not fast enough
    I cant catch the tears
    I cant muffle the screams.

    Iíve been so scared to love
    And Iím saying it again
    Iím falling
    But Iím caught in your words.

    My lips catch yours
    So contagiously
    And my hands wont keep
    Secrets any more.

    Theyíre grazing your face
    And clutching your hair
    Touching your neck
    And trailing your back.

    I canít keep this inside
    I want you more and more
    Why canít love be fearless
    And you be here?

    Canít you feel me
    Are you holding my hand
    Iíve gone completely numb
    In your passionate stares.

    Iím not scared to say
    That Iím falling so fast
    When I can feel youíre
    Catching my fall.




    Submitted on 2005-08-27 22:13:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Woopada Doopada! This was cool Steph! I particularly liked the second stanza. Powerful. Love is only as fearless as the ones who embrace it, ya know? Funny how a lot of people say they have no fear...but you see them all shying away from love, I dont get it sometimes...? Anyway, nice write. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Love is fearless. Or at least thats what I thought, and what I hope. We (as humans) are generally the ones who are fearful. Our emotions seem to me as though they aren't fearful at all. Also our emotions tend to conquer our own fears in time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when emotions arise it can happen at the least opportune time possible. And if you ignore, or dont feel fearless enough to let certain feelings such as love out, then your heart will scream till it deafens your mind and your logical senses until you make your feelings known. Then again maybe that's just me. I tend to get all jumbly when I think I am in love, and deffinitely freaked out by the thought of it. Generally when I make myself vulnerable to others they become closer to me, but all too often in the past people have just gotten close enough to stab me in the back. But the fact that there are people who have shared their love with me, seems to make it all worth while. I agree with gd66uk, I really liked the fifth stanza especially its first two lines. Another great relatable write.

    ~Brent
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Poor_Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Welcome whatever comes, You can not truly understand love without knowing pain. It's very peaceful and contrasting, Interesting concept with the catching your tears i enjoyed that metaphor. The beat kept the same through out the poem which is important. i really enjoyed the whole piece.


    Semper Fidelis,
    Christopher
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Bloody Sensational, Steph! So many good things in this, I'd love to put my own melody to it.

    I love the "so cold to be shattering" reference, that's great. And "falling...but caught in your words" that's really good too.

    I'd only rave about the rest. The only word that got to me was "and SHOT to you" Any reason you used "shot"? it doesn't seem to fit, at least not for me, maybe "My heart is overloaded...and shot to you" giving the gun reference more credence.

    But, a tiny thing, I really, really thought this was superb!
    Five Stars! *****

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      It made perfect sense... Besides, if it didnt I think most people can agree that love never makes sense.. It was beautiful (like all other poems I have read of yours). It seems that you truly are into this guy by the looks of the poem.. And the line about falling and his words caught you.. That was clever. I never heard it before, and I hope that you continue to write so I can read more and more of your poems!

    Keep It Up
    ~Blindly-n-love~
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice poem! I think it makes perfect sense as love is certainly terrifying. While it is wonderful and exciting it is also very scary because it is a feeling you dont have control over, it just happens. And when it does, it leaves you vulnerable and relying on the other person to treat you well and not hurt you. I think you have described this kind of feeling very well. I like how you end this one too. The last stanza is a good way to end this write with him catching your fall. Nicely done! Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      well as i have taken the risk myself recently i can relate to this,i see it sang as a slow ballad maybe.its true when your heart is open it feels wonderful to be in love and if you have been hurt before then its also makes you scared to be hurt again,but there is no greater feeling so i think personally its worth the risk.my fav lines in this are My lips catch yours
    So contagiously
    And my hands wont keep
    Secrets any more.

    kissing is the essence of being in love and i think thats why this line appeals to me most.very enjoyable and would make a great song im sure :) graham
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem, it made sense to me. I read it sort of like a slow song. It just made me think of my own fear of falling in love as well, but besides that it was a really nice poem. So far I'd give it a 8.9 out of 10. Well, keep the poems comming.
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh yeah! Thys was the joint! Awesome work- I was singing it. You got skillz... Don't let anyone say you have no beat in your work (lyke someone told me tonight) because I could hear the melody. Kewl deal- peace, love and robots eating meat- The Madd One
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      falling in love is all about being vulnerable.. yes, we can get hurt very deeply, but i do believe it is worth any pain to feel love so strongly and to open your heart to it. you'll never know unless you open yourself up. there is that corny saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. take the risk!
    thanks for sharing your thoughts,
    peace&blessings,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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