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    dots Submission Name: Would you kiss me?dots

    Author: playcrackthesky
    ASL Info:    21/f/IA
    Elite Ratio:    4.46 - 463/457/88
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 1904
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 958

       I'm dreaming again

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWould you kiss me?dots

    I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?

    I want to feel your strength
    In the creases on your palm
    Running down my skin
    Running down my back.

    I want your touch
    With your callused fingertips
    Up against my skin
    Up against my lips.

    I can feel you squeezing
    I can tell you’re tensing up.

    I want you and all your honesty
    Scream your love while you’re holding me.

    I want your hands
    Holding mine
    Feeling contours
    Feeling me.

    I can feel you’re restless
    I can tell you can’t wait.

    I want these hands
    So profoundly
    Holding my head
    Holding me close.

    I want you begging with those hands
    Pleading my shoulders
    To never let you go
    Never let me go.

    I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?

    Submitted on 2005-08-29 01:01:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this very much...I always get hung up on a person's hands...

    It's good to know I'm not the only one!
    | Posted on 2007-09-06 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is so cute
    I love the conection of the hand and the heart
    it makes me feel oh so special
    this poem made my heart smile
    your rad for writting this
    I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?
    its so mysterious I love love love it
    I know I sound kinda gushy but Im totaly in love with this write
    | Posted on 2007-08-11 00:00:00 | by xSaraHx | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that this was good. it's like the kind of thing people think when all they're doing is talking to someone. in an incredible way, this was speechlessly depressing... anyway, this obviously has shown you put a great amount of truth and emotion into your writing, not to mention skill. it's the kind of thing everyone can relate to, regardless of an actual experiance. it was a terrific piece of literature. and it explores into a chamber of reality that tragically has no connection to the heart... one can only hope that a connection can be made... if you have any idea of what i mean.
    | Posted on 2007-08-08 00:00:00 | by freddybuzzkill | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that question. Now I probably won't be able to get it out of my head. It's full of hope and longing which makes it truly wonderful. There is an innocence that the two are not sure of themselves, but they want it so badly. Wonderful write.
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      This is highly romantic stuff done in a neat and nifty way, indeed! It could have been highly clichéd, but somehow you have largely escaped this trap ... very finely done poem! bravo... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-07-27 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      comming from a girl who abhors love poetry. that one made me tear up. it was beautiful. it reminds me of everything that make love worth the heartache thank you for the hope

    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one alot! It was sensual, without being racey. I liked the need and desire that fueled this poem. It was intense and very well written. I think of my bf when I read this. It had romance and shyness also. You did a great job. I hope you got your kiss by now! lol.

    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This has so much emotion init.

    It does two things, really: tells of what you wish for, and tells of how YOU feel.

    I think there's a lot more erotic physical love in this than meets the eye...

    Quite stunning, Steph, well done!

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      If you wrote me this poem I'd kiss you.. Lol.. Im totally kidding.. I have been thinking on how to word some feelings I have with my boyfriend without it sounding so corny. And this toally puts icing on the cake. Its such beautiful work, like a song in my ears..

    Gosh.. You are my favorite writer! I love your work! I like would worship at your feet, ha. Ok, thats a lil over board.. But I do love your work. Its always so sincere, or just GREAT regardless.. Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      The first line is written as beautifully as the Mona Lisa is painted. Simple elegance intertwined with an innocence which most lose. A good write throughout, the flow was good as was the rhythm. Most of all I enjoyed the feeling of this. It made me think of a park bench with two first loves realizing the importance of one another. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      That is a beautiful poem. i really enjoyed reading that. The innocence of your feelings but the itensity of them all mixed in with a timid question and a passionate longing. I love it. You are a very talented writer. And for someone so young makes me even more impressed. Please keep writing.
    Han x
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Hidden_depths | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so pretty. I love the whole "hand" idea. Very creative. The wording is perfect. I could feel the longing in every line. I love how you repeated the first line again at the end. Great job


    (Sorry, I have no idea if I thanked you or not for the comment on I Love You More. My memory is really not what it should be. If I didn't, thank you You know I always appreciate it)
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      If he doesn't kiss you...try holding something else...*raises eyebrow*


    Just playing!

    This was a very sincere write. Almost as though you are lost within him...longing. Does he know? You get a sense that maybe he feels the same way...both are wanting more.

    Great job!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, to be so young and in love once more... wait... i'm only 19...
    i can't help but realize how young a lot of the writers are on this site and how so many of them, like yourself, are quite talented and gifted. you convey emotion very well, a crucial tool in the shed of all poets. don't lose it.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely poem. A sweet loving expression and I can really feel the sense of longing throughout this write. Being in love is truly a wonderful feeling and a wonderful experience in life and I think you have captured this desire quite well with this poem! I like how you speak often of the hands and fingertips touching and caressing as this is so sensual and just a great feeling. Very nice job with this one! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      the emphasis on the hands is cool... you make them appear so sensual..
    also the repitition in the last two lines in the various stanzas adds a lot to the poem. it gives a feeling that you are desperate to reiterate your feelings.. it brings out the passion...
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, You can feel the innocence yet almost loss of it within this poem on the verge of allowing yourself to commit to the roughness that accompany us men. And you offer your silky tenderness to us. The ethereal that you women are to our mundane features. Yet, you still crave us as much as we crave the contour of your hips. I love the last stanza and the last 2 lines are very very elegant and truthful. Great write

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?

    this is a most perfect way to start and end this write...
    this whole write is wishing and dreaming and wanting and longing but it all has to start somewhere...

    when i was 11 i was at a wedding and there was this downs syndrome boy there and he kept asking me to dance with him (and i was kinda shallow back then and i had really sore feet) and i kept saying no...
    anyways his parents were getting him ready to go and he ran right over to me and took my hand and kissed it... it was the most beautiful thing ever... seriously... i felt so bad for not dancing with him after that and since then i have always maintained that a true gentleman always kisses a lady on the hand hehe...

    i think the thing about long distance relationships (which i am guessing this one is...) is the nonexistance of physical touch... its hard when you love someone but they arent there with skin on to hold you when your sad or kiss you or whatever... ya know...?

    there is such an innocence in this write (as has already been said) an almost naievity (oh yup and i cant spell...) that makes this write even more beautiful and soft and tender... it makes me feel like i am intruding... reading an open diary or overhearing an intimate phone conversation or something...

    I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?

    i still love this line... its the small things that count... i have this dude who is like dad to me and he told me im not allowed to even hold a boys hand til ive been going out with him for 6 months (he is hillairous! i went out for a beer with a boy the other night and this dude was like YOUR GROUNDED FOR 6 MONTHS YOUNG LADY! haha!) but yeah... this is really beautiful piece... good luck honey...
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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