wow this is so cute
I love the conection of the hand and the heart
it makes me feel oh so special
this poem made my heart smile
your rad for writting this
I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?
its so mysterious I love love love it
I know I sound kinda gushy but Im totaly in love with this write
i thought that this was good. it's like the kind of thing people think when all they're doing is talking to someone. in an incredible way, this was speechlessly depressing... anyway, this obviously has shown you put a great amount of truth and emotion into your writing, not to mention skill. it's the kind of thing everyone can relate to, regardless of an actual experiance. it was a terrific piece of literature. and it explores into a chamber of reality that tragically has no connection to the heart... one can only hope that a connection can be made... if you have any idea of what i mean.
I like that question. Now I probably won't be able to get it out of my head. It's full of hope and longing which makes it truly wonderful. There is an innocence that the two are not sure of themselves, but they want it so badly. Wonderful write.
This is highly romantic stuff done in a neat and nifty way, indeed! It could have been highly clichéd, but somehow you have largely escaped this trap ... very finely done poem! bravo... bravo ... bravo ... michael
I like this one alot! It was sensual, without being racey. I liked the need and desire that fueled this poem. It was intense and very well written. I think of my bf when I read this. It had romance and shyness also. You did a great job. I hope you got your kiss by now! lol.
If you wrote me this poem I'd kiss you.. Lol.. Im totally kidding.. I have been thinking on how to word some feelings I have with my boyfriend without it sounding so corny. And this toally puts icing on the cake. Its such beautiful work, like a song in my ears..
Gosh.. You are my favorite writer! I love your work! I like would worship at your feet, ha. Ok, thats a lil over board.. But I do love your work. Its always so sincere, or just GREAT regardless.. Keep it up!
The first line is written as beautifully as the Mona Lisa is painted. Simple elegance intertwined with an innocence which most lose. A good write throughout, the flow was good as was the rhythm. Most of all I enjoyed the feeling of this. It made me think of a park bench with two first loves realizing the importance of one another. Nice work.
That is a beautiful poem. i really enjoyed reading that. The innocence of your feelings but the itensity of them all mixed in with a timid question and a passionate longing. I love it. You are a very talented writer. And for someone so young makes me even more impressed. Please keep writing. :o) Han x
ah, to be so young and in love once more... wait... i'm only 19... i can't help but realize how young a lot of the writers are on this site and how so many of them, like yourself, are quite talented and gifted. you convey emotion very well, a crucial tool in the shed of all poets. don't lose it. -Richard
This is a lovely poem. A sweet loving expression and I can really feel the sense of longing throughout this write. Being in love is truly a wonderful feeling and a wonderful experience in life and I think you have captured this desire quite well with this poem! I like how you speak often of the hands and fingertips touching and caressing as this is so sensual and just a great feeling. Very nice job with this one! Take care!
the emphasis on the hands is cool... you make them appear so sensual.. also the repitition in the last two lines in the various stanzas adds a lot to the poem. it gives a feeling that you are desperate to reiterate your feelings.. it brings out the passion...
Lovely, You can feel the innocence yet almost loss of it within this poem on the verge of allowing yourself to commit to the roughness that accompany us men. And you offer your silky tenderness to us. The ethereal that you women are to our mundane features. Yet, you still crave us as much as we crave the contour of your hips. I love the last stanza and the last 2 lines are very very elegant and truthful. Great write
this is a most perfect way to start and end this write... this whole write is wishing and dreaming and wanting and longing but it all has to start somewhere...
when i was 11 i was at a wedding and there was this downs syndrome boy there and he kept asking me to dance with him (and i was kinda shallow back then and i had really sore feet) and i kept saying no... anyways his parents were getting him ready to go and he ran right over to me and took my hand and kissed it... it was the most beautiful thing ever... seriously... i felt so bad for not dancing with him after that and since then i have always maintained that a true gentleman always kisses a lady on the hand hehe...
i think the thing about long distance relationships (which i am guessing this one is...) is the nonexistance of physical touch... its hard when you love someone but they arent there with skin on to hold you when your sad or kiss you or whatever... ya know...?
there is such an innocence in this write (as has already been said) an almost naievity (oh yup and i cant spell...) that makes this write even more beautiful and soft and tender... it makes me feel like i am intruding... reading an open diary or overhearing an intimate phone conversation or something...
I wonder if I held your hand, would you kiss me?
i still love this line... its the small things that count... i have this dude who is like dad to me and he told me im not allowed to even hold a boys hand til ive been going out with him for 6 months (he is hillairous! i went out for a beer with a boy the other night and this dude was like YOUR GROUNDED FOR 6 MONTHS YOUNG LADY! haha!) but yeah... this is really beautiful piece... good luck honey...