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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Long Distance Calldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 600
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1152



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLong Distance Calldots
    -------------------------------------------


    My voice races
    Among telephone wires
    Shooting through tubes
    To a delicate ear
    Suppressing the fear
    Of being far flung.
    I'm sorry, I'm not near
    But I have to grow.
    Surrounding me
    Isn't space enough
    Soul's a potted plant
    And you're the earthen ware,
    You shout, "It isn't fair."
    But you have to know
    I love no one else
    Just need to be alone.
    I still long for your touch
    But as a person,
    It can't mean so much.
    So, that's why
    I'll love you with words
    As our ears caress the phone
    I'll continue to assure you,
    We will never feel alone
    As long as the wires stay up,
    That distance can't put out
    The fires of love.
    I know how women are
    You might wander off
    Because you have the gift
    Of womanhood,
    Which all men desire.
    So, if you want to go to another
    Because you can't stand how I grow,
    I'll cut this wire
    And hang up the phone.




    Submitted on 2005-08-29 04:04:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I stumbled upon this and glad I did...Very nicely written, you create quite a picture here, so to speak...Being once quite involved over the miles, I could relate well to the phone and the way it keeps the lines of communication openm and the way it is sometimes best to just hang up...
    Very well done
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Iv'e missed talking to you! This is an excellent post for your happy 100th! Long distance relationships lften hurt... but like you expressed so well in this piece it gives you time to grow as not only a man but as a lover. When you are reunited you will both have a better understanding of what you want from life and love, and lots of sexual frustration... YUMMY

    Write me more often!
    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      man i hate when distance gets put between you and a love. but this is where the trial of whether they are faithful or not lets you know if they are for you or not. the message gets across very easily, and i like that you made it so simple but touched on a very delicate situation. great job.
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
      Well done solja. Personally i [censored] hate talking on the god damn phone to a chick. Ive fealt this way a dozen times at least- probably a lot more. so impersonal and limited. i love the piece, the ending especially was most superb indeed. Great job there, and great job overall. Good to see you back in action.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellently wrote. The similie of a soul being a potted plant worked superbly in showing how this person affects you. I write without making stanzas alot, like this poem. Personally, I like not breaking into stanzas, but, for this poem I think it would have added a feel of the distance, but thatys just me. Other than that I have no deliema with this poem. Great discriptions and you kept the use of the phone wire the whole time. Superfluous job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Silenced Hope | [ Reply to This ]
      Yay! Happy 100th Post!

    This is really good. The last few lines are so... I guess "powerful" would be the right word. Very original. I have many favorite parts, so I'm not going to point them all out. Excellent descriptions. Wow, I dont even know what else to say. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you have mastered a very creative way of writing down your feelings. Everyone that has ever had to endure a long distance relationship was searching for a box of kleenex at the end of this bad boy. Great write, I haven't found a thing I would change...

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]


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