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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drowning In Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 637
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 830



    Description:
       Just got bored last night. This is what came of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrowning In Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tie me to the bed.
    Make me moan and scream.
    Take me on a journey to heaven and hell,
    And all those places in between.
    Search me with your tongue,
    Conquer me with your lips.
    Tease me till I'm swimming in lust,
    Then go ahead and take a dip,
    Into a sea of endless warmth
    Where you and I can drown,
    Both fighting against a whirlwind of passion.
    We break the surface, but we're sucked back down.
    I'm sinking into the depths once more,
    You've gone and pulled me back in.
    I can't fight that look in your eyes,
    Or the feel of your skin.
    I'm drawn into the current again,
    Floating in pools of blue.
    There's no point in trying to breathe,
    Because I'm drowning in you.




    Submitted on 2005-08-29 08:42:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      how sweet. i love the beginning Tie me to the bed.
    Make me moan and scream.
    Take me on a journey to heaven and hell,
    And all those places in between."
    that was awesome. u can tell u want him. have fun!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved it! Absolutely loved it! The imagery in this was so vivid, and it flowed so perfectly beautiful! I enjoyed reading this so much! It was such a tastefully written poem full of passion. You could not have written it any better! Loved it!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a thin line between vulagrity and sensuality.Well, what you've written here definitely is more sensual than anything else.
    I 've liked the way you've expressed the way his eyes hypnotise you into surrendering..:)

    I can't fight that look in your eyes,
    Or the feel of your skin.
    I'm drawn into the current again,
    Floating in pools of blue

    This is absolutely passionate..
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Sophia | [ Reply to This ]
      Another one about love, I see it's your style, cool signature though common. You are infatuated aren't you. None the less it was a good piece. Way to go- Sharon
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good and very imaginitive. I liked your theme, structure and the way it came together very well. The first four lines set the scene and pulled me into reading it - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


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