Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drowning In Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 830



    Description:
       Just got bored last night. This is what came of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrowning In Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tie me to the bed.
    Make me moan and scream.
    Take me on a journey to heaven and hell,
    And all those places in between.
    Search me with your tongue,
    Conquer me with your lips.
    Tease me till I'm swimming in lust,
    Then go ahead and take a dip,
    Into a sea of endless warmth
    Where you and I can drown,
    Both fighting against a whirlwind of passion.
    We break the surface, but we're sucked back down.
    I'm sinking into the depths once more,
    You've gone and pulled me back in.
    I can't fight that look in your eyes,
    Or the feel of your skin.
    I'm drawn into the current again,
    Floating in pools of blue.
    There's no point in trying to breathe,
    Because I'm drowning in you.




    Submitted on 2005-08-29 08:42:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      how sweet. i love the beginning Tie me to the bed.
    Make me moan and scream.
    Take me on a journey to heaven and hell,
    And all those places in between."
    that was awesome. u can tell u want him. have fun!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved it! Absolutely loved it! The imagery in this was so vivid, and it flowed so perfectly beautiful! I enjoyed reading this so much! It was such a tastefully written poem full of passion. You could not have written it any better! Loved it!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a thin line between vulagrity and sensuality.Well, what you've written here definitely is more sensual than anything else.
    I 've liked the way you've expressed the way his eyes hypnotise you into surrendering..:)

    I can't fight that look in your eyes,
    Or the feel of your skin.
    I'm drawn into the current again,
    Floating in pools of blue

    This is absolutely passionate..
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Sophia | [ Reply to This ]
      Another one about love, I see it's your style, cool signature though common. You are infatuated aren't you. None the less it was a good piece. Way to go- Sharon
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good and very imaginitive. I liked your theme, structure and the way it came together very well. The first four lines set the scene and pulled me into reading it - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    72368

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Live In Between written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    untitled written by Outlaw
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry