Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Goodbye, My Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1557



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGoodbye, My Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Follow me
    I've something planned
    Come hither along
    I'll hold your hand

    I know it's dark
    and you're confused
    But we're almost there
    and I'm sure you'll be amuzed

    Now stop right there
    and close your eyes
    I brought you here
    for a big suprise

    No peeking now
    are you ready for this
    Make sure you don't move
    I don't want to miss

    Ha, that one got you
    really good
    I got you right in
    from where you stood

    I know that shovel
    hurt your head
    Just lay back
    while I make your bed

    It's too deep, hon
    you can't get out
    No one can hear you
    when you scream and shout

    Relax, my love
    I've work to do
    I know you're cold
    I am cold too

    It will be all over soon
    Oh baby, I know it's rough
    but the hole will be covered
    soon enough

    Ah, finally done
    now that wasn't so bad
    Now be sure to think about
    the life you could've had

    I am sorry, my love
    but this had to be done
    And now I really must go
    though I had so much fun

    Here's a rose for you
    I'll leave it right here
    Goodbye, my love
    we'lll meet again, somewhere...

    @--->---




    Submitted on 2005-08-29 13:01:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      woah, now thats one seriously carefully planned poem. be careful with your z's insted of s. Now i have nick cave - where the wild roses grow in my head:P
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by Evita | [ Reply to This ]
      this was cazy beatiful in the way of when i was reading i put my biggest nemisis in the hole and was done with them for good
    like i said crazy but great and peaceful noing their resting where they belong ha ha ha
    well done
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Dark!...hehe..i enjoyed this pretty much..Its kind of really funny and amusing in a weird kind of way .It had me smiling .Almost as if the poet was patting her own back for the job well done ...hehe

    very well written .No loose connections anywhere
    almost perfectly written.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Sophia | [ Reply to This ]
      This was wierd but cool in a way. sounded like some kinda soap opera drama . i don't know i'm have nothing to say. hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    72391

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry