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    dots Submission Name: My Body Owns You (erotic)dots

    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 403
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 2128
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1991

       Don't ask me.....I was just having a freaky moment. AND I am required to comment after every 15 comments I give......

    Enjoy.....I know there are a lot of freaks out there like me!

    Li Li

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Body Owns You (erotic)dots

    I long for the inner passion in me to be opened to an everlasting love that will console me and make me feel as though nothing else in this world exists. When I close my eyes, I long for a touch that will make my body quiver with anticipation. The warmth of each breath will ride over each slope of my body. The gentle affection of a slightly damp tongue will tease each contour. My toes will curl from the excitement that has been aroused within me. I feel a yearning for you. The slightest tug on my ponytail. The smell of the candles that surround the most explicit moment of one's day. The sheets come off, exposing the rough mattress hidden underneath. As I grab the headboard, I so slightly uplift myself, trying to contribute to my own climax. As I look down I see my own porn being played as you thrust in and out of me. The sound of the wetness, the sound of you slapping against me. This is all so surreal. I feel the tingle......I feel the rush......as you enter deeper.....and deeper.....almost bringing me to tears. My legs shake and my breath is taken from me. I tightly grab onto you....asking you to slow down....but you want it....you want all of it.....you like the way I feel. This rush pulsates on your manhood. Almost as though it is trying to swallow you. It is trying to take you in. It waits for the delicacy that you provide. A steady rhythm.....a gentle glide....you take your time.....the way you scwint your eyes allows me to know that this feeling is taking control of you. My body owns you right now. As I gently move my hips to bind us closer together, you drop helplessly upon me. You shake, you moan, hesitating to move. Now it's you begging me to slow down. But I want it just as bad. I want to feel the rush of you. As the passion is released and reality brought back, you lay next to me. You hold me gently in your arms. Allowing me to know, that we are still in our own world. A world of love.

    Submitted on 2005-08-29 14:36:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You write probably some of the best passion poems I've read. It takes your breath away in an honest, bold, provocative, yet clean in an erotic sense sort of way.

    *Isn't sure that made sense*

    PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!

    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      An excellent vivid write. Definitely writing you can feel. The 'world of love' at the end strikes me as unnecessary and a little cliché. It may throw off a lot of readers. And be a bucket of cold water after an otherwise steamy piece. There are more ways to express that same feeling without a phrase like that which your writing can do without.
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by scienceyear | [ Reply to This ]
      Niceeeee...This is one of those writes that kinda leaves me ..."stupid" ...I wouldnt call it erotic ...more sensual ...it has that beautiful female feel to it ...Cos yanno ...us girls do sensuality so much better then the guys ...Peace chicka ...xoxox
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      Yummy Yummy Yummy! This was GREAT description and like others've said, erotic, powerful and sexy without getting vulgar. Of course leave it to a woman (Oh, lordy-THAT will make some of these very talented male writers fluff up their feathers!) to write with such a muscled finesse about LOVEmaking! Yep, our bodies can engulf them to the point of owning them at that moment. Makes the insecure ones a leetle scaird. The sissies. 8^)
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      WoW- Super Li Li, that was awesome. (yet missing masks- lolful) I have to go now- ummm- for a completely unrelated reason then the hottness... If you shall eXcuse-

    Peace, love and awesome moist cake -

    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow Li Li! This was hot! I have to agree that it was more erotic than anything, very tasteful in my opinion while it still kept the extreme erotic element to it!
    This was very good and very passionate. As with anything I've read of yours it was great!
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Erotic is the word, descriptive yet tasteful - I didn't need a shower, but I'm certainly going to need to fluff the body pillow a little more this evening

    The love that entwines with the erotic and descriptive scene is pulled together in a beautiful way

    Very nicely done, LiLi
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh heh. I likes it ;) It kinda made me all warm inside, weird? =O You did a great job of describing the feelings and really captured the "moment" in your words. Excellent piece.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Lil Nick | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Li Li,

    I like this. It wasn't really really erotic but it was just erotic. Which is good in my opinion. I usually read erotic pieces in the mans point of view. Reading in a womens point of view was a good change for me. I like how you made it into a story type of thing. Sorry if i'm rambeling...I'm kind of tired lol. I think i like it most becuase it seems really romantic. Great job.

    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. its not really erotic...its poetically erotic. its not dirty, sweaty, sex...its making love. its romance. its passion. there are a lot of poems out there who just describe in detail what happened with their last conquest...but this was poetic and romantic. i enjoyed.
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
      That is so sweet It wasn't that erotic... I found it more romantic. Amazing wording. I know I probably told you before, but you are really talented. As always, Great job

    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Li Li, You jealous of me!! I don't think so!

    This was beautiful! So tender and sweet, yet sooo Hot. You had me! My body was yours to do with as you please. This was sensitive, warm, loving while still very erotic. I believe my piece was more crude and lacked the finesse of this write.

    So very good (Hope no one is looking, but I'm still hard even as I write this)

    Thank you for the fantasy and the fun.

    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
    It's a thin line between erotic and dirty, and you held it beautifully. What I really like about this piece is while the sexuality of it is steamy, it's still a piece about love. Great work,
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Jiminy Christmas...you and T and Nikki always write such hard hitting explicit stuff thats done tastefully...honestly and bold. I admire y'all for that. I have heard and seen these feelings you speak of here before in the eyes of women I have loved and yes...its like you said...at that time you own each other...its kinda cool I think. This wasnt as explicit as I thought it would be, it was more erotic and exotic...nice.

    Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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