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    dots Submission Name: Through Rose Colored Lensesdots

    Author: Naymless
    ASL Info:    15/F/phx, az
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 142/110/33
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1557
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1363

        Well this one is about a man who tells his dying love about how they'll meet again in the after life. Its a bit short though, well at least thats what I think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThrough Rose Colored Lensesdots

    They will greet us with red roses,
    Oh what a hostile town痴 attempt to slowly descend,
    Into carnage,

    A white rose,
    Hanging onto its pedals,
    Begging gravity to take pity,
    On the beauty it once held dearly,

    They値l stand before us,
    Mallets in hand,
    With a jury to the stands,
    A smug look,
    From a man who knows his insults,

    A yellow rose,
    Signifying friendship,
    Standing brightly,
    Giving a ray of happiness,
    To the other dying roses in the vase,
    But we can be more than just friends,

    They値l condemn us to hell,
    They値l guide us to paradise,
    And we値l pay with pennies,
    To the chariot that is carried by the damned,
    'I swear I knew you from somewhere,'

    A daffodil,
    Caught in the winds,
    Burning beneath the pressure of Hades,
    Dying of envy to the roses,
    Oh how the children love it so,
    Oh how the gardeners hate it so,

    On mount Olympus,
    We値l take our vows,
    And live in the Ashland fields,
    The irony is,
    We値l have a better afterlife,

    For you my love,
    A dying rose,
    It痴 only appropriate

    And I can稚 wait to die with you.

    Submitted on 2005-08-29 19:33:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, this is terribly beautiful. It's such a nice, lovely thought to think that we'll be with our soulmate in the after-life. It gives me warm fuzzies inside. You described it with such eloquent phrases and terms, as well. I just loved this. Definitely favoriting it.

    On mount Olympus,
    We値l take our vows,
    And live in the Ashland fields,
    The irony is,
    We値l have a better afterlife,
    ^My favorite stanza.
    | Posted on 2007-04-30 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      Jesus Chrst almighty! Let me start off by saying this poem is any Excellent use of mythological context(Thank You!:)). I love Mythes esspeically the one you use "Paying with pennies. A reference to coins placed on the eyes of the dead to by the Ferry-man Craytos(spelling?) to go across the river styx to the eternal resting ground of Hades. The daffodil i am curious about, I cannot remember if that flower was a reference to Peneolpe(spelling?) Hade's wife or to her mother Demeter(Goddess of the harvest.) All of the flowers beside the other written give separate meaning. The daffodill give me an image of a muse or a fate trumpeting out of the flower what had happen to the characters. Also while looking up dafodil to see if I was thinking of the write plant I found that it was of the genus Narcissus, which of cross in Greek Legend is the man who died staring at he own reflect, and spawned echos(a girl who could only say what had just been said to her, whom saw Narcissus before he went to the pool where he died. I also got the image of a fate sitting on a rock pulling out the petals around the trumpet to determine what would happen next. But you say how the gardeners hate it so?Maybe you meant to say Dadiloins. Anyway, Hades would be jealous simply because whenever flowers are out his wide is away. So much imagery in this if I commented more my head might explode. Great Job, Thanks for posting.
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
      THis was very well written...the imagry was endless...I liked the end...very bitter sweet:)
    This had a good point and you presented it well...I'd say this is a favorites addition:) I don't know exactly how to critique it just know I loved this one.. keep writing and hope to read more from you soon.
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this was well written.
    a very bitter/sweet poem. i love your imaginary here, it really is very interesting to read.
    like a story you where telling, it was very captivating.
    i enjoyed the roses, how they all stood for something, also how each step though some very dark led to them being together forever.
    also, i like the daffodil, very nice. how it is envious of the roses.
    as a child i did love them & i love how you brought that out.
    how though gardners hate them children still pick them to put in their hair. its a really nice part to the poem.

    the end was perfect.
    you did such a beautiful job of describing it & the ending words so sweet almost bringing me to tears.

    the whole poem was wonderful. rich in creativity, discriptions, passion .. so many things.
    & last but not least, the title. it caught my attention &i loved the connection that it held with the poem.
    my hat goes off to you.
    take care
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      That was sweet and sour and I likey it. Any Greek myth reference and I melt into a puddle of nerdiness... Grood jorb!

    Peace, love and awesome moist cake -

    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice metaphors with roses, I really enjoyed the mystery you kept and how the flowers finally link in the end with the story, its pretty powerful, I love how the relationship is explained with objects instead of usual "mooshy mooshy", very inventive

    Good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by Aferisan | [ Reply to This ]

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