Description: lately i have gotten back with my old boyfriend that i used to have a really big thing for...but lately someone else has started to take his place. and i couldn't be happier with the new person.
over it -------------------------------------------
given and taken
love is divine
no i was mistaken
your love is not mine
you hold me in pieces
and i slip between the cracks
love's not supposed to be like this
the love i gave you can't be taken back
you start to lose me
my memories will fade
the pain inside of me
is finally going away
i dont want you the way i did
and i can't believe it doesn't hurt
the feelings have suddenly ended
i found a way to release your curse
This is a good poem! I like the happy tone that it has throughout. It has this optimistic quality that just reinforces the words! I like the way you wrote this as well! And I agree that this is a wonderful feeling when you realize you are finally getting over someone who really hurt you. And better yet, it is great when you meet someone new cause not only does it help heal the heart, it brings its own new excitement of meeting and being with someone new! This is a very enjoyable poem! Good job with this! Take care!
I agree with the other comments posted. I enjoyed it and can relate to the subject matter. Isn't is a relief when you find out that life goes on and you CAN get over someone?.. But I do think you can make it better. If you have the talent and the will to do it, you can make this poem amazing.
I like the idea of this, I really do. But mayeb if you worked on this a little bit I could love it? The subject is a well covered one but you make your poem stand out because you cover the whole slide rather than just one point. It is good but reading this make me think you could make it great? You use your wording so well and obviously have an original take on things, I do like it. Han
From a content stand point, I think you covered all the emotional transitions falling in and out of love normally follow. As far as poetic content, the rhyming pattern and meter were uneven and difficult to read. Still over all, the piece carried the underlying meaasge.
wow.. i know exactly how you felt in this one.. i really loved the wording you used.. it was just right and appropriate for your subject given and taken love is divine no i was mistaken your love is not mine