[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: over itdots

    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 770
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 569

       lately i have gotten back with my old boyfriend that i used to have a really big thing for...but lately someone else has started to take his place. and i couldn't be happier with the new person.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsover itdots

    given and taken
    love is divine
    no i was mistaken
    your love is not mine

    you hold me in pieces
    and i slip between the cracks
    love's not supposed to be like this
    the love i gave you can't be taken back

    you start to lose me
    my memories will fade
    the pain inside of me
    is finally going away

    i dont want you the way i did
    and i can't believe it doesn't hurt
    the feelings have suddenly ended
    i found a way to release your curse

    Submitted on 2005-08-30 01:54:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem! I like the happy tone that it has throughout. It has this optimistic quality that just reinforces the words! I like the way you wrote this as well! And I agree that this is a wonderful feeling when you realize you are finally getting over someone who really hurt you. And better yet, it is great when you meet someone new cause not only does it help heal the heart, it brings its own new excitement of meeting and being with someone new! This is a very enjoyable poem! Good job with this! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      i related to the subject matter, as well...

    but the rhyme scheme to me was awkward, and distracting to the piece. that was just me, though. i really liked this line, though:

    "the love i gave you cannot be taken back".

    that's so true. so many people don't understand how much you're giving when you love someone. especially with all of your heart.
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by cre_dia | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the other comments posted. I enjoyed it and can relate to the subject matter. Isn't is a relief when you find out that life goes on and you CAN get over someone?.. But I do think you can make it better. If you have the talent and the will to do it, you can make this poem amazing.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Mrs Peabody | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of this, I really do. But mayeb if you worked on this a little bit I could love it? The subject is a well covered one but you make your poem stand out because you cover the whole slide rather than just one point. It is good but reading this make me think you could make it great? You use your wording so well and obviously have an original take on things, I do like it.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Hidden_depths | [ Reply to This ]
      From a content stand point, I think you covered all the emotional transitions falling in and out of love normally follow. As far as poetic content, the rhyming pattern and meter were uneven and difficult to read. Still over all, the piece carried the underlying meaasge.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. i know exactly how you felt in this one.. i really loved the wording you used.. it was just right and appropriate for your subject
    given and taken
    love is divine
    no i was mistaken
    your love is not mine

    this was my fav part!! keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Cover written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Love written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    untitled written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]