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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The World behind Glassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rocknpoetrychik
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Someplace
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 331/281/44
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 323
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 573



    Description:
       you can take away from this poem what you want.. say whatever you want about.. you can even bitch at my lack of punctuation or that it totally sucks.. i dont care.. do whatever you will.. just be yourself is all i ask
    ~*~amber~*~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe World behind Glassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Behind the glass
    There are deep blue oceans
    In the oceans depths
    There is me
    Naked and vunerable
    Tingling with anticipation
    Wondering where the tide will travel
    Wandering where the tide will travel
    The waves gently wash my vessel ashore
    The water hungrily laps at my body
    In a wave of ecstasy.. I open my eyes
    They are where the ocean meets the trees
    Green lush jungle and dark blue liquid
    Two merciless habitats, converging
    The heaven I promised you is somewhere in between




    Submitted on 2005-08-30 02:24:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thats crazy because some time ago I started a poem with a similar title and theme, but never finished it. You've rememinded me and inspired me to going back to finish it! Not trying to be like everyone else, but i really do like your imagery! I like your style!
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by L.i. | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so beautiful; honestly I don’t know what to say. This poem does sound like a dream, beautiful, colorful vivid dream. I think this is about having your own place under the sun, which is not perfect but it’s yours. Your own little promised land.
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know...I get some specific images from this...I don't know. I get a floating feeling from this. A humming bird buzzing above a flower. Us...people buzzing above love...or whatever. I liked the convergence of water and land. I don't know.Take care.
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      ooooooo...Beautiful

    Wondering where the tide will travel
    Wandering where the tide will travel

    I liked that...how one different letter changes the entire sentence...brilliant, powerful. Very creative and captivating and imaginative. I wanna be in that heaven too. Is this sounding like a Siskel (RIP) and Ebert critique? Oar well, you said just comment on how ya feel. So...I did.
    Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This actually makes me imagine a child being born. Child is naked and vulnerable, is born (waves that bring you ashore), child opens eyes, sees the world for the first time.
    Weird take on it, but its all I could think of after I read this.
    In the last part "Green lush jungle and dark blue liquid" I imagined the lush jungle as being "good" and the dark blue liquid as being "bad". Which marks the choices the child will have to make in life. Will they go down the right path or the wrong path? ... Where will the tide bring him, we dont know. lol.. Yah that was weird.. haha aw well.. c'est la vie
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Mrs Peabody | [ Reply to This ]
      you have so much passion screaming within you to break free of your inhibitions... I can feel it in your writing. I would love to read more of your poetry once let all of your sensuality and passion out.

    With anticipation of whats to come,
    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I can't [censored] about it, I've never been one to be concerned about "punctuation" in poetry, and it definitely doesn't "suck"

    What I took from it:
    A wonderful voyage in the ocean, free from the confines of a ship or materials - naked, flowing like liquid and riding the tide to some tropical paradise

    A sense of peace and yet longing to be finished, and yet wanting to stay at the point between two worlds where time & life stands still

    This was an extremely moving piece & evoked many feelings, fantastic write
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohhhhh. o.o I like this a lot! Just like hidden_depths said, like finding your dream. It reminds me of some tropical ocean paradise, perhaps, like somewhere in hawaii, just, minus the tourists. Lovely piece, keep up the good work!
    ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Its almost like closing your eyes and finding your dream. I like it. Maybe tere is something missing but maybe there isn't. Its so hard to tell because it feels like you're tryin to find words to descibe almost a dream and who's to say what that description is. Good job.
    Han
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Hidden_depths | [ Reply to This ]
      The imagery of this poem suggests a reflection of what the subject sees in the writer; like a mirrored image, only a suggested surface appearance. The writer hopes the subject of this piece is willing to wait, to endure the process the writer has yet to complete, so that the she can be what the image suggests.

    This was very well crafted, especially the ship imagery. Quite clever and easily recognizable.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]



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