Wasn't the read I expected by your title, but yet a nice write. All the poor lad needed was a fair maiden to love. Hope he found her at long last. Smiles, ~Linda
yeah the title was missleading and it was too short but thats what i liked the most about it... it was short and right to the point and the title adds a dimension to it that i would not have seen on my own... it is beautifully written and well polished... dont change a thing... love it the way it is...
I liked the title. A little misleading, but good nonetheless. The poem was short, but sweet and to the point. The ending could use a bit of work but otherwise a great piece.
From the title, I thought this might be about borrowing jeans (kidding). Hey, I need some of that joy stuff too. This was definately unique; I wish I could think of something really witty to say, but I can't. Peace, Amy
I liked the simpicity and orginality of this poem. ... dont hurl your self over a cliff though, that wouldn't be good at all, a dramatic ending... but very final! there would be no sequels!
This is really good! Very sad story told here but told very well. Music has always had some sort of magic to it, well at least for me! It always seems to lift my spirits even when I am sad and it would probably work for this guy too! Especially if he enjoys that soulful music!Very nice write Dan! Take care!
that's really cool dan! I love this. it's not only clever, but it flows well and has a definite sense of longing and desperation. I think you've outdone me. maybe we can get some more people to do the exercise too! I like poetry exercises. they get me thinking. and writing! excellent write.
The title set my mood for a blues song (big blues fan) after reading, I have decided it is a beautiful song it's just not long enough Despite that I couldn't get enough of it, I DID like how short & simple this was and yet a story was born. I was alternating John Lee Hooker & Etta James singing this while imagining a young man whose mother had passed and their relationship being such a close one crushed him to the point of depression & not wanting to go on if he couldn't be heard - if his life couldn't be sang I could be totally off on meaning - but I really liked this - nice write Lisa