Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bewitcheddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bgj
    Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 65/63/27
    Words: 330
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1096
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1018



    Description:
       Peace and Love to all


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBewitcheddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Little sorceress with enchanted eyes
    Which burn into my soul,
    You drew me in with chastise sighs,
    Sweet vows of passion untold.

    Playful succubus who haunts my dreams
    And stirs my spirit to flame,
    Within these sheets of damp desire
    Our fervor knows no shame.

    Your charms of magic and potions of love
    Hot arrows that pierce my heart,
    They fill my mind with flaming desires
    Which tear my soul apart.

    Little witch of voodoo love,
    My heart you have enslaved,
    And placed upon my soul a mark
    I’ll carry to my grave.

    Bobby G. Jarrard

    © 2005 by Bobby G. Jarrard















    Submitted on 2005-08-30 09:05:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome...I love the stanza including the succubus. This is intellectual and I love your word choice. I think there are a few grammatical things you could work on...Sentance structure, ect. Thanks for sharing.

    Twila
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by Twila | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    72507

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry