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    dots Submission Name: Damn!!!dots

    Author: heavy knowledge
    ASL Info:    15/m/slidell, L.a.(N.O.)
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 106/156/34
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 927

       this is for all them fallen soilder that died for street voilence that was unnecicary u know from gang violence and it didnt have to be like this but still dont forget them!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Damn must be the word of the day
    Because damn dog why u had to pass away
    Damn why am i stuck with ur gurl crying
    She holds on like glue because ur dying
    The bullet went in ur rib through ur left lung
    Just rembering of past days when we hung
    Damn is the only word that i can say
    Wondering whether u will live or die like a pengulum thast sways
    Damnwhy wasnt i there u hold u down
    Damn if i was there ur body would have never hit the ground
    So should i blame myself for wut happen
    Where was ur heat so u could do the clappin
    All i see is ur blood on my white tee
    Wondering in heaven will u rember me
    Damn that shit aint fair wish it would have been another
    And damn i have to go explain this to ur worried mother
    Damn because all u are now is a memory
    But when u get to heaven please rember me

    Submitted on 2005-08-30 11:55:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well.....I know the pain. YES I DO! All I can say is that....no matter what one does....that doesn't change many outcomes. You can't point the finger at yourself. If you were meant to be there....you would have been.

    As long as you keep this person in your heart....they will forever live on......MEMORIES is what makes a person's soul stay on earth. That is what keeps them circulating!

    I know the terminology here.....DAM....DAM...DAM...DAM.....

    Keep your head up high and know that he is looking down on you saying....Damn....I wish I could tell him I'm okay.

    Pour one out....let it soak in the ground....yet know in your heart.....is where the friendship is found.

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-05-05 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      this ain't bad man, its like a letter to a dead friend? its pretty good....ur writing seems raw.....not smooth like others that I know....its different
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was completely stupid, and badly written. But I hate it when people write poems like rappers. I found it all stupid...but the message was good...But that presentation...was stupid.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by AngryAtTheWorld | [ Reply to This ]
      even though i am older i undestand this poemand i do like the way you pesented it my two sons play in the new game of this story
    my opinion
    such a waste of life we used to just beat the [censored] out of each othe now the teenages kill each other
    pretty f...ed i say
    great write no bad intent given to you
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      wot u have written is good, u need to sort out ur typos, i used to write the way u do, but readers kept tellin me off cos they didnt understand wot i was saying lol, anyway nice write keep em coming x x x x
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      ur typing sux azz. i liked the emotion in this one though. it kinda reminded me of tupac's life goes on. that doesn't mean i'm comparing u 2 pac so don't get cocky. u use a lotta slang. but then again street poetry has it own kinda flava. i like the way u said darnn throughout the whole write. good job chaz.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

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