[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lifedots

    Author: manderz_1207
    ASL Info:    15/f/mi
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95/109/38
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 635

       Sorry if you get lost of dont understand. To me it's pretty self-explanatory. If you don't get it let me know. Just random thinking and writing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    To expect life, it would be like this,
    It would be flowers, butterflies and happiness.
    No anger, no angst,only those who would love,
    love one another and fly like a dove.
    Soar through the sky, so free and high,
    without any worries of when you will die.

    No locks on our houses, windows open galore,
    to be able to leave and not lock the door.
    No worry of thieves stealing what you've earned,
    for stealings not good, now they've all learned.

    Where the sky is so blue, grass as green as can be,
    A place to surrender, for just you and me

    Submitted on 2005-08-30 14:10:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      with this poem you have captured the way everyone wants there lives to be. i would all the money that i have to be able to live a life like that but what can you do when people in this world only think of themselves. where the goal in life is not to be as happy as you can but to have as much stuff as you can. where people think that jewelry and expensive things can solve all their problems and if they cant afford to be rich they steal from the rich or the poor. but back to your poem it was realy good and it flowed well. you also got your point across clearly. my favorite lines were

    Soar through the sky, so free and high,
    without any worries of when you will die.

    if only the world were like that.

    | Posted on 2005-09-24 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      I think most people wish for a world like that. I know I do. This is great. I like the pretty wording I'm usually interested in more dark, depressed, gloomy poems (because they're usaully easier for me to relate to)... but this is excellent. I feel the same way. I can't remember if I told you before or not, but you're really talented. My favorite lines were:

    "No locks on our houses, windows open galore,
    to be able to leave and not lock the door."

    It's too bad that it can't be like that. You just can't trust everyone, you know? I occasionally leave without locking the door (I find it easier... I'm a bit lazy lol) and I just HOPE that no one enters ...Probably NOT a good idea. Oh well. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      dainty,happy,dreamy write that is probably a lot of peoples dream come true if it ever came about.Unfortunately thats all it will remain a dream in peoples minds eye for we live in an unforgiving world.Was nice to read this though because while i read it i was taken to this wonderful place with no crime or hate and nature in perfect harmony.Not sure if expect was the right word as i think most people would say "wish" or "dream" for this scenario,but a pleasant insight into a better world that took the reader along nicely to the end :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]