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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Handsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: roxygirl239
    ASL Info:    14/f/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 450/305/44
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 2552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 306



    Description:
       Please notify me of any spelling mistakes. This only was quickly typed and I don't feel like reviewing it. If you want to know what this is about read my current journal entry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHandsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Our hands
    Are reaching
    for each other
    so close
    Bodies sweating
    From all the stress
    All the desires
    Fingers shaking
    Unable to rest
    Although
    With all this effort
    They never touch
    We are never together
    I am never loved




    Submitted on 2004-04-15 19:08:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      so far, both the poems that i have read by you (i forgot the name of the other one) were Awsome. i do agree with the comment below about the love thing, but i know somewhere that someone is waiting for a girl like you to come strolling along so they can sweep you off your feet. keep lookin. love your writing.
    | Posted on 2004-04-15 00:00:00 | by melancholypoet | [ Reply to This ]
      the entire piece is good on the whole, the only thing i can suggest to you is this... try to re-think the last line... unless you're saying that you are never loved BECAUSE you can't physically touch each other... i think that if these feelings are true, you are loved in a different way i guess... perhaps i'm wrong... oh yeah.... i didn't notice any spelling errors...
    - fifi
    | Posted on 2004-04-15 00:00:00 | by halopop | [ Reply to This ]


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