[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Witnessdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2778/1297/258
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 501
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1160

       The first section of this work deals with an individual attempting to divest himself of guilt by means of post hypnotic suggestion. However, the subject is at the mercy of the indifferent hypnotist personified in the last section. This begs the question, where is the middle ground for the offender seeking forgiveness and the offended who may have none to give?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Imagine you're
    back where
    it began
    that concrete
    pillar is a tree,
    and when you've felt
    soft hands caress
    your brow, you'll sever in pieces,
    cut clean. Half is
    the monster
    his wicked wish
    remains his own,
    the wraith he
    haunts is you.
    The monster will hurredly
    stride away,
    hastening to the
    taste of blood;
    each step embracing
    the silent curse
    till the hundredth
    and both are gone.

    All that's left
    an animal shell,
    weeping for children
    an enemy's soul
    sold for regret
    to the tenderest
    devil the eye
    had known.

    Although I'd prefer
    to admire your courage
    and offer sympathy,
    I can't. However,
    though you've been less
    than human, a dispassionate
    animal under the searing
    sun of unforgiveness, I'm tempted
    to toss a crumb.
    Even stray animals
    deserve to live,
    if discretion can
    muzzle their tongue.

    Submitted on 2005-08-30 20:45:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is one heck of a write

    I swear to you I felt like it was about my life
    I really saw a lot of visuals about my life in front of me reading this
    You definately captured my imagination with this write
    Great Job

    And thanks for your comments on Words
    I am glad you understood it perfectly
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      took me to a black and white movie copywrite 1955, the dialogue full of innocence and clean of any current filth...

    it was the last lightpost on in the night..only the rain could be seen by the reader, as it broke through from the dark to the light.

    Forrest M
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by happy | [ Reply to This ]
      Your piece exposes the problem of the sense of human justice juxtaposed against the commandment to "love your enemies." The viewpoint lacks the aspect of love required in the act of seeking forgiveness and truly granting it. The offender does not require condonement of his terrible sins, he needs relief from the unbearable weight of shame and guilt.

    Only love is strong enough to accomodate both the contrite heart and the wounded victim.

    You did a masterful job showing the dilemma facing both the accused and the accuser.
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      An excellent piece.

    It is a daily dilemma, the line between forgiveness and resentment. Can sorry be enough? Can scars ever disappear?

    Once again, an interesting social observation, written in an enjoyable style. As always, leaves the reader thoughtful...

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]