This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Nice Chat

Author: runedot
Elite Ratio:    5.07 - 46 /45 /14
Words: 264
Class/Type: Story /Misc
Total Views: 1455
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1804


I wrote this a few years ago, but I touched it up a little. It really has no plot, no theme, no idea, nothing, it's just some kids having a nice chat.

Nice Chat

The train compartment was cold because the heaters had gone out.
The 3 boys about 15 from Passim College shivered miserably.
“Stupid school and its rotten motto!” Spat Sodga, a medium built boy, who looked frozen to the bone.
“There is reason to it though” Said Lhi Wai, a short Asian immigrant with shrewd looking eyes “Passim in Latin means ‘here and there, everywhere’, anyway, it’s usually very nice to travel”
“Travel… Bad… Cold…” Said Kon, a big burly boy with a brain the size of a peanut
“I agree with Kon!” Shouted Sodga fervently to Lhi Wai “I think it’s stupid to travel for no good reason”
“c’est la vie” Quoted Lhi Wai “That’s life!”
“Cold… Hate…” Said Kon
“O tempora! O mores!” Sighed Lhi Wai theatrically “O the times! O the manners!”
“Shut up!” Demanded Sodga, lightly punching Lhi Wai
“Noli me tangere… Amende honorable” Replied Lhi Wai “Don’t touch me… Apology”
“COLD!!!” Cried Kon
“Fiat lux!” Said Lhi Wai comfortingly “Let there be light”
They fell silent.
“Sic transit Gloria mundi!” Said Lhi Wai “So passes the glory of the world”
“Stop being sad” Barked Sodga
“O.K! Veni, vedi, vici!” Cried Lhi Wai “I came, I saw, I conquered!”
“You’re impossible!” Shouted Sodga
“One does one’s best!” Said Lhi Wai laughing
“Destination…” Said Kon as the train creaked to a stop
“Hah! Wonderful” Said Sodga
“And I’ll sing a song!” Cried Lhi Wai “Che sarà sarà! What ever will be, will be!”
And with that, the boys from Passim College left the train and went to visit their home stays.

Submitted on 2004-04-15 19:42:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  An interesting way of writing, but it was difficult to follow, because of too much speech and no real plot. It was amusing to read, but I couldn't make much sense out of it. By taking Syndls advice you could make this a very good piece of writing.
| Posted on 2004-06-07 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?