Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

An Old Man's Pleas

Author: obaid
ASL Info:    21/M/Gauntlet
Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 148 /93 /34
Words: 142
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1124
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 723


Wars shouldn't happen! what do you think folks?

An Old Man's Pleas

What are your reason-
For the war's you wage?
Biased propaganda!
You force us to believe it all, in your image.

"Tit for tat"- your best policy!
Why blame us all? When blamed should be the ones among us who are cursed by

Peace we want.
Deaths we don't want to see.
In a part of the future an not in a grave
Is where our children should be.

We are not right and you are not wrong!
"Conquer and defeat"
"A fight for glory"
Why not put friendship, for the first time in the
DARK pages of history?!

Submitted on 2005-08-31 00:55:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Very, very very powerful. Like, full of emotion. i agree with you very much on this. I have to agree with PinkFairy about the hate...i see it everyday in our school between people who don't even know each other...

keep it up!

| Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
  Thst's what i'm talking about! I loved it. I feel the same. there is so much hate in this world.
I do think there is room for improvement. You might want to read it again and make minor changes. I can't tell you how, you have to figure it out. trust me, when you read something over and over, there is a way to make it a little bit better.
| Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?