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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Empty Shelldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 958
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 592



    Description:
       Depressed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmpty Shelldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Feeling lonely everyday
    Having no real place to stay
    Wondering around the city streets
    My heart and soul ripped away from me
    Whats wrong with me? feeling in hell
    Just another empty shell
    Looking around, witnessing people staring me
    Maybe its beacuse they see no life in my eyes
    Then start wondering once again
    Trying to find one person that can relate
    Thinking back to see if a mistake was made
    For my soul is no longer here
    And now wonder no longer
    Just a crumbled empty shell






    Submitted on 2005-08-31 05:25:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well... now I see why you featured (or whatever its called) this one. I think out of everything Ive read by you, this is my favorite. I love it. It's so descriptive without actually describing what made you feel that way. I can tell that you put a lot of yourself into it. I love the wording and I know exactly whay you mean. I feel like that pretty much everyday... and especially now since I ran out of medication like 2 weeks ago and I still havent gotten my prescriptions refilled lol I better get on that. But yeah... anyways, i really do like this a lot. You should IM me sometime... we should chat Arvoir

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      The first 6 lines had a rhyming pattern, but it stopped at the 7th line; this threw off the flow. I liked the idea of the piece; that sole feeling of being alone, everyone judging you, because they don't understand. However, I do think this piece could've been worded a little better as well.
    Over all, it was alright.
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]
      wow really gr8 write and i no totally what your saying i feel like that too but thats normally coz i am :S its a really depressing piece but gd @ the same time you have your own style and i really like that keep up the gd work and hope things turn out ok 4 u in the end :)
    take care
    izzi x
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel384 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is basically how i felt last summer after i broke up with the so calld love of my life.. but dont worry its not as bad as it seems youll get over her and find someone n ull love them in there own special way
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      This is pretty deep. I love how your poems sound good even though they don't rhyme and don't nessesarily have a great flow.
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Mia | [ Reply to This ]
      oh that's so sad, I cant imagine feeling alon all the time... I mean, I have my moments but ALL the time. I suppose that would make you feel empty. If you start feeling too lonely listen to the radio, It always helps me. I thought it was good... depressing but good. Well I hope something good comes along to fill your emptiness soon.
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i really liked that poem. it described alot and it seems like it came from the heart. ...its really good. i cant say anything bad cuz really there isnt anything to say bad about it...
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]


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    72621

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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