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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Impossibledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wewak11
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 3436/3630/329
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1064



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImpossibledots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I had to tell you our love couldn’t last,
    If I had to say that our time was now past,
    If I must speak words that would cut like a knife
    I may as well tell you the meaning of life.

    If I had to stop hearing love from your lips,
    Or stop midnight magic from your fingertips,
    If I had to stop thinking we were so right
    I may as well stop day from turning to night.

    If I couldn’t smile through my day to day care
    From knowing you love me and all that we share,
    If I thought our love would eventually die
    I may as well pull down the moon from the sky.

    If I let your face wear the shadow of fear,
    If I let a shower of teardrops appear,
    If I sat and watched and see sadness had won
    I may as well go out and stare at the sun.

    I’d try not to love you as much as I do,
    Forgetting your smile and the softness of you,
    Ignoring your bad mood whenever it rains,
    I may as well jump up and catch airplanes.




    Submitted on 2005-08-31 21:03:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That was beautiful. It almost made me cry but not in a bad way. I loved it. You are very talented but i'm sure you already knew. I'm going to read more of your stuff now.

    ~Samm : )
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG .. i reminded me again my fex girlfriend.. do u want me to cry and come back wth her?? i dont think so .. lol.. well good one !
    bye and i hope i can read mre from u ...!
    Victor!
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      aw no. . . . . . .. . . . Graeme
    its more milky than
    cheesey. . . . . .. .. .
    smooth and soothing. .. . .. . . . . .. .. .
    don't cchange it
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sweet
    the simplicity of the rhyme and the perfectly metered rhythm make it direct and unpretentious.
    the repetition makes it soothing and reassuring
    and a bit like a lulaby...
    nicely written
    nicely crafted
    nicely said.
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww...just what every girl wants to hear. I guess I'm a sucker for those "cheesy love poems" but this one was really good. And if a guy ever said it to me...he'd be mine forever! :) Great job. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful work. You capture love's neverending questions, concerns and doubts, but wrap them up into hope, love and selflessness. A love such as this is one to be treasured, and you lay it in a bed of heavenly clouds to rest upon your soul.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    - Grey
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Greyson | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Graeme ,

    just beautiful , all i can say is if i was loved like that my life would be completed.
    oneday i hope
    take care
    Elaine xxx
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully crafted and reads like butter melting from the page. Such a romantic you are! I enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading more of your work.

    +Jo
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by whisperslove | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahhh...! Another beautiful love poem! Gave me a smile just to read this! Very well written and expressed with a lovely sincerity and strength of the love that is felt. You speak of how torturous it would be to lose this love and how your world would crash down around you if it was lost. The need is so well defined! This poem speaks of a solid strong unconditional love and that is indeed priceless! Very nice poem! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      You always say the finest things about my love poems, and to you I say, never was a finer gentleman made a write of poems.
    I 'm not your typical romancer of women as such, because I know some of the inside of what is called woman. But this rings true, it doesn't surprise me, your heart is a gift.

    Yeah daddy, all us gulls love ya! thanks for the dictionary too, you crazy man!
    much love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      holy cant belive how great this poem is batman! I really can't find one single word to tell you how much I loved this, or how great this was!! ah I'm sorry, I can never find anything to tell you! But this is definently going straight to my favs... it really was probably my favoritest thing I've ever read by you. SPLENDID!!
    -Steph
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      [Swooooons]** This is fantastic Graeme,--again not an original comment or expressing 2% of what I feel when i read this. You are indeed, "An officer and a gentleman. I seriously don't know how you do this.----you rhyme and it sounds perfect, whereas anyone else it would sound corny or trite. Never a cliché, just always heartfelt feel-good sentiment that makes me say "Why didn't I say that first?"
    Lovin' it
    Sally
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG!...i absoletly love it!...i so know where this is coming from...my current good mood comes from my boyfriend...he makes me so happy..and he saved me from myself this summer...so this poem like exactly explains how i feel about him...without him i may not be here...and on my site i wrote a poem for him!...i think its the first happy poem i've posted yet...so yeah..anyway..great poem...keep it up
    <3 krin
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Krinchinian | [ Reply to This ]
      So... I have never fancied myself as the kind of woman that wanted romantic poetry, or flowers, or chocolates, or such. But when you write something this beautiful it makes me want to change my mind. (At least for a couple minutes.)

    I loved the way you wrote of the things that stop the hearts of those in love and compared them to things that are impossible. I loved the attention to rhythm. I love the way this piece sings out to the reader. I just loved the whole thing. Must add it to my growing collection of Wewak Favorites!

    Thank you for loving poetry. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing.

    (Must go blow my nose now!)

    Take Care!
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      You just so can write sir! Your way with words, form, subject - d*amn I bet you were the apple of your English Teacher's eye - or would that be "Aussielish " teacher's eye...
    My favorite lines (but I loved them all):
    "If I couldn’t smile through my day to day care
    From knowing you love me and all that we share,
    If I thought our love would eventually die
    I may as well pull down the moon from the sky"

    Every stanza was so beautifully crafted - absolutely stimulating
    *curtsying*/*bowing* whatever...
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wewakwonderful! All of us ladies sitting here melting...such genuine words and as always the meaning, flow and everything are right on!
    Giving whatever for the comfort of another - great job!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh Graeme, you always seem to know how to make my relatively unromantic heart to go mush. This is simply beautiful. These would make wonderful vows, or maybe a toast. Whoever the lady in your life is is a very lucky woman.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      You are one bad [censored]! This is platinum right here! With this piece you have done something impossible...It's original, heart-felt, strong, powerful, amazing, emotional--I could go on and on. I love this dawg. This is some real romantic [censored]! Hell of a job!

    X
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this piece but also the style of it...you did a great job showing your love through the impossibilities you set at the end of stanza.
    Again I'm in awe, your funny and you’re serious...I don’t think there is anything you cannot do...well except pull and airplane from the sky, and if you can I want to see.lol
    I hope your day is lovely
    Until next read
    Denise
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice... very nce... I love it. I don't know what else to say except i wish someone would love me that way. Although I am getting married on saturday I dont' think he see's through your eyes. too bad cause i would be putty in his hands...
    peace mandy
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by mandy dupuis | [ Reply to This ]
      That almost made me cry. It's just too sweet. I love it. Well-written happy love poems always make me sad. Yours definitely did. (Thats a compliment) As I always say, Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      oh Graeme, you are such a romantic... this speaks of love so tender and true, not wanting to hurt the one you love or see tears fall from her eyes.. it's like you'd rather cut off your own arm than see her in pain. true love lasts through the hard times. it's not always easy, but if it is true, it will stand the test of time.

    stay golden my friend
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      You have me swooning Graeme! Why can't more words fall from men's lips like this?!
    This was so beautiful and romantic. I too began to have tears welling up a bit at the thought that someone could love like this and put it as beautifully as you did.
    The style of this poem did nothing but add to the intensity of your words!
    Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


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    72708

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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