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    dots Submission Name: The weeping timedots

    Author: adamastor
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 66/65/19
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1103
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 584


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    dotsThe weeping timedots

    The drop descends,
    the spiral bends.
    The circle is no more.
    History turns inside out
    and crumples to the floor.
    The moon is cast in shadow
    and the stars refuse to shine
    for walking in the hollows
    is the darkness of our time.

    The angel’s wings are broken
    and the demons halo bright
    reflects a dark distortion
    in perversion of the light.
    The weeping time has come again,
    intent upon this play,
    so drop yourself upon those knees
    and bow your head to pray.

    Submitted on 2005-09-01 02:50:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      oooo i like your rhyming. it didnt sound forced one bit. it gives me a feeling like something just... died. like gave up or something . i like the images of the angel with broken wings and demon with a shining halo
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
      I adored this poem! Very well written, and your rythym was spot on. This is definitely getting on my favorites list. Very good choice of words, it had awesome imagery, my favorite thing in poetry! Can't wait to read more of your work ;)

    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      This the first poem I looked at and felt impressed to look at some more. Which caused a terrible dilema...which one do I comment on. They are all very vivid and almost enigmatic. So I came back to the first one I looked upon. When evils of the world have descended upon us we have but one choice, one defense. The simplistic nature of the advice is what makes it so profound. Ohters might say it is cliché, but the truth of it prevails.
    | Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by Tarwen Nevle | [ Reply to This ]
      ...wow...short sweet, sensational. i love it, especailyl the angels broken wings and the demon's bright halo...very original, slightly clichéd but with a breath of fresh air to it.I really trully like this piece.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, that [censored] was short, simple, but [censored] great, for something not long at all, that [censored] is one of my favorites that i have read on this site so far, good [censored] job.
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by withblindedeyez | [ Reply to This ]
      you're good! i will add this to favorites list immediately! first off i loved the way every word flowed with the rest. i especially loved

    The weeping time has come again,
    intent upon this play,
    so drop yourself upon those knees
    and bow your head to pray.

    that was freakin' brilliance!

    i'm so excited i found you! i will reccomend you to my friends on here!

    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by mistakes | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes the reader reflect and question themselves, how they have lived there lives, of they were compassioned and sympathetic to fellow man. Its beautiful, well done keep writing, well, you've already heard about how great the rhythm and rhymes are, so all I’d be doing is repeating, the flow is fantastic, I love this, keep writing
    Sincerely Deserted
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Deserted | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very well composed poem. The rhythm you used flows so naturally throughout the entire poem. The choice of words is elegant but powerful, and you make a direct hit on the troubles facing this world. My favorite part has to be when you mention praying because that is exactly what the world needs to do. I hope to read more from you in the future
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by unforgiving05 | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, a great write. tom

    The drop descends
    and the spiral bends,
    the circle is no more.
    History turns inside out
    as it crumples to the floor.

    The moon casts its shadows,
    why the stars refuse to shine,
    for walking in these hollows
    is the darkness of our time.

    Their angel’s wings rest broken
    and on their demons halo night;
    they reflect a dark distortion
    in perversion of moonlight.

    Weeping time has come again,
    intent upon this play we bedded.
    So drop yourself upon your knee,
    bow your head and pray to them
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece was very disturbing because it is so true. The world has become such a scary place to be. You captured it perfectly in this poem. The imagery and description was great, I wouldn't change a word! Great write!
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      That was cool. I like the flow of it. the rymes all fit. I like all your umm... what's the word religious references. Like the angels broken wings, the demons halo and all. surprisingly it works. Keep up the Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]

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