a bit to randome for me seems like it may have worked better if you eather divided your rants into sections or just set up poem for each one it might have a better laugh on on the individual issues rather than tossing in a bunch of one liners to cover a lot of bases
Hahah I like this, it made me laugh. You made it rhyme perfectly. Good job, I'm sure many people would get a good laugh out of this. And my gawd unforgiving05 , chill! This is a comedy poem, meant to make people laugh, not flip out. You should have read the desc. and the class before that comment.
stormy skies is right about ignoring unfirgivings comment if he had been paying attention he wouldhave see that this is a COMEDY! which i thought was funny...and i can relate to afew of the things you said about school...you should meet serenity blade yo ushare some of the same views
ignore the last comment lol... it is obvious that this is satire and i think you have done a good job...and without meaning to be ageist lol i think that you could improve this even more in years to come...but for where you are at and your age...you have done very well...and that takes nothing away from your piece or your thoughts :) or isnt mean that way anyways...hope you get what i mean...
For one thing your not president and that is apparently a GREAT thing because you do not know [censored] about our counrty..yea you diss Bush Like he is the worst president but our country wouldn't even be together anymore if Kerry had won..And the part were you said Binladen was your hero tells us that you are a Mother [censored]ing Son of a Bitch that doesn't have any morals or even cares about human life. Maybe you don't remember that he sent his followers to kill thousands of Americans and people from other nationalities some were even children. So before you go and talk bull[censored] about our country and our president you might want to wise the [censored] up, or atleast do some research so you know what the [censored] you're talking about.In conclusion, you might wanna consider doing what you said in the 6th stanza.