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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bullshitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Drea
    ASL Info:    18/f/nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 289/142/53
    Words: 240
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 810
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1300



    Description:
       Okay so me and my friend wrote this... K corrction I wrote this my friend can rap it. But hey, w/e the point is team work can show how crazy you really are.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBullshitdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Chourse
    Parents lovin children
    Its bullshit
    Makin an honest livin
    Its bullshit
    Bad guys gettin caught
    Its bullshit
    Thugs takin orders from cops
    It bullshit
    Given up everything for love
    Its bullshit
    Bein sinless for the man above
    It bullshit
    your full of shit, Im full of shit, and cool wit it
    (Verse 1)
    My life is bullshit my head is full of shit that I cant explain a slight chance of rain No, I cant explain my sense of sane-ness. Bitch please, dont pray for me Im not quite crazy Its the voices in my head that make me keep doing this they make me refuse this why are you doing this I cant belive this This is bullshit.
    Chourse x2
    (Verse 2)
    No I wont take your fuckin pill and no I wont pay the bill Im not going to bed mommy im not sleepy yet i wont put the gun down bitch quit fuckin around my mind cannot be found I lost it a year ago when I was gamblin w/ J-lo Bitch dont move again cant you see im talkin Im gonna blow you up if you dont shut up I dont have a disorder and no you cant have order in the court so kiss my ass cuz im packin my bags I doubt I'll be missed my song dont even make sense know why... cuz it's bullshit.




    Submitted on 2005-09-01 06:40:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      Mechanics. You definitely need to work on spelling. The last verse is rather jumbled and it's hard to pick out parts.

    Overall, this gave me a headache. I will say though, if you write another song without so much language, you'd be on par with most of the artists on Radio Disney.
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the last comment is a bit harsh...but i would say that if you took out some of the bull[censored]s after the first one and expressed how you are feeling with other words in those lines and even left the rest of the language in it you wouldnt lose what you were saying...the repetition doesnt work so well in this...some of this is quite good but you lose the readers attention by overdoing it..but thats just my opinion :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      This write, is truly muck from the hands, the mouth of one who is inept, immature and all the other negative things millions die for. Please donít rush to presses with this one you may step in it. tom
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]


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