Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Night's Terrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Widget
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 70/95/39
    Words: 427
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3253



    Description:
       Just finished writing this song. I think its one of the better ones. Idk something about it sticks out to me. Hope you like it. Check out my other songs too! Thanks! The name of the song applies to each of the verses. And i know it looks long but its really not that long. Please dont let that make you not read it. Thank you so much.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Night's Terrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    One Nightís Terror, Goodbye & Dream

    Verse

    Night turns ugly
    Scarlet dancing
    Crowding people
    Thoughts gone resting
    Make a mess
    To clean the rest
    Itís hard to see
    Your hypocrisy
    Behind those
    Cloth-gone eyes

    Chorus

    And the symphony
    Plays sympathy
    Tonight
    As a lonely soul
    Awaits to step
    Inside
    Yea

    Verse

    Swirling lights
    They blind my senses
    Taking steps
    With no advances
    Hanging on
    Forever less
    Then all you gave
    And nothing else
    Till dawn does rise
    Will I lay hear
    In puddled hearts
    And screaming fear
    To those who pass
    Upon me now
    You cannot hide
    A solemn vow
    Through
    Cloth-gone eyes

    Chorus

    And the symphony
    Plays sympathy
    Tonight
    As a lonely soul
    Awaits to step
    Inside
    Playing the game we
    Did that Goodbye
    Dance
    Wishing wells could
    Give us our last
    Chance

    Second Chorus (Half-time)

    We lost it all
    In the essence
    Of a lewd voice
    And gained it back
    In a moment yet to pass
    Until we can be
    Loved again
    Will you bring me
    Closer to your heart

    Verse

    Head hung high
    On the basement floor
    Heavenly grasping
    That creaking door
    Amongst the fog
    Of painless ventures
    A misty romance
    Seeks no answers
    Pass on again
    To catch oneís breath
    Through act of life
    Iím given death
    Now ended far
    From where I start
    You cannot save
    A healthy heart
    With
    Cloth-gone eyes

    Chorus

    And the symphony
    Plays sympathy
    Tonight
    As a lonely soul
    Awaits to step
    Inside
    Playing the game we
    Did that Goodbye
    Dance
    Wishing wells could
    Give us our last
    Chance

    Second Chorus (Half-time)

    We lost it all
    In the essence
    Of a lewd voice
    And gained it back
    In a moment yet to pass
    Until we can be
    Loved again
    Will you bring me
    Closer to your heart

    Bridge

    Heating contentment
    My conflict is restless
    And even though I
    Can no longer help hopefuls
    Iíll stand
    By
    You
    Stand
    For
    You

    Chorus

    And the symphony
    Plays sympathy
    Tonight
    As a lonely soul
    Awaits to step
    Inside
    Playing the game we
    Did that Goodbye
    Dance
    Wishing wells could
    Give us our last
    Chance

    Second Chorus (Half-time)

    We lost it all
    In the essence
    Of a lewd voice
    And gained it back
    In a moment yet to pass
    Until we can be
    Loved again
    Will you bring me
    Closer to your heart





    Submitted on 2005-09-01 08:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! i really did enjoy this and i think i will have to read it again after more sleep lol as it gives the reader much to contemplate...i think it works well as a song and would love to know the tune you have in mind lol..there are some fantastic lines in this...the following verse would have to be my fav though:

    Swirling lights
    They blind my senses
    Taking steps
    With no advances
    Hanging on
    Forever less
    Then all you gave
    And nothing else
    Till dawn does rise
    Will I lay hear
    In puddled hearts
    And screaming fear
    To those who pass
    Upon me now
    You cannot hide
    A solemn vow
    Through
    Cloth-gone eyes


    although the second chorus is very good too..
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    72750

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry