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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stackeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TD
    ASL Info:    34/f/Aust
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 92/81/21
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       I'm not sure I want to give a description of this (it's a bit too close to home). But I will explain that to "cut your own throat" is a superstition about cutting a deck of cards (ie some think it is bad luck, when in fact it can foil a card cheat's strategy at stacking the deck).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStackeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The white coat's news
    cut his remaining days in half;
    There, he wields a blade of fervid red
    and with a deft hand he deals
    but fails to cut his own throat.
    Terminal:
    a station, a term, an ending –
    it's all palliative to him;
    God, why can't it be palative?
    What spread is God intending?

    Sleep and sink,
    cause that's all he can bear,
    when aged aunts and uncles
    clucking and fussing remind him
    of wrinkles he will never wear.

    Brave faces are scalding to touch
    when it's he
    who will miss out on so much.
    Whispered words and shuffling feet
    scream obscenities;
    or muffle what he wants to think.
    Accept and cherish – Hah!
    What do they know?
    He'll not see the clock face
    or the numbers of his end;
    what then is there left
    for him to befriend?

    He lies motionless
    and wishes for an invisible coat
    to shield him from his death;
    He broods silently
    and pleads, tears wrung,
    for perennial breath.
    But remaining days cut in half
    have poor memories,
    and though the fervid red cools to ash,
    (oh, how they love him so)
    all he sees is the hand he's dealt
    being from the bottom of the pack.




    Submitted on 2005-09-01 10:38:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this poem is very powerful. denial of death.. somthing that nearly all of us do... cannot be done as I read this peice. I am spooked... and I am like.. "I need to stop smoking"..
    the imagery depicted, .the intellgence, the emoiton of facing death is superb.


    the cards depicting fate... very phucking spooky.

    this poem gave me the chills.
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      TD [Stacked]

    Tanya
    This moved me – I've seen it happen and have sighed in relief when it wasn't me. But now as I'm beyond age, I might welcome it! On more personal note, I can really relate; I'm taking care of my director (she's recovering from cancer and has an acute anxiety disorder) when she goes off on me - it's like I see my future odometer limit cut in half - suicide couldn't end my pain fast enough!

    A number of things aroused my interest: the overall message, the repetition of “fervid red” to close the piece, the plays on “terminal”. I really felt like I was visiting a inmate in a resort for the geriatric, when by some twist of fate I found myself interned!

    My FAV lines: “all he sees is the hand he's dealt being from the bottom of the pack.”

    typo S1L9 palliative

    S3L1 Did you mean scalding her?

    CU encore – soon

    Ted-in-Korea (Mu-Wi)
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by uncreaTED | [ Reply to This ]
      ouch. the pain here is real. it is so powerful that i can feel it. how i dread that word 'terminal'. you dealt with it very effectively. i don't think i have ever felt as impotent in my life as when one of my dearest friends, with a whole life ahead of him, was told he was terminal. that he would not live to see the end of the season. nothing was too much trouble for him or his family as we scuttled around trying our best to do what we could to make things better. of course we could do nothing to make the lymphoma go away. so many emotions, so much pain, so much anger, so many questions and total frustration . i am so sorry that this person so close to you is going through this ...and so sorry that you too are hurting . you have managed to put all this across very intelligently in your poem.. using the pack of cards was a very effective way to talk about such a sensitive subject and it avoided sentimentality ..which most of these brave patients resent more than your pity.
    i think some of Hanuman 's poems that he has written about and for and as a result of his very ill friend Quentin. are pretty amazing too.

    Good Luck to you all.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. is this about cancer? i have several pieces about cancer and this seems to have the same heart of those. this is amazingly written. i love all the imagery, especially the part about feeling cheated. very well done :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I didn't quite get all of this. But something about it, the wording, or just the words, captured my attention. I'm going to read it a few more times and let it sink in...if I still can't get it (I can be kind of dull at times lol) I'll ask you. There's something here that I really love though. I hope I find it

    Be Well
    ~Rachel~
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ]


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