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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where I'm Fromdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deathbelow
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 34/43/17
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Me
    Total Views: 1316
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1137



    Description:
       This was another class assignment where we were supposed to use George Ella Lyon's poem 'Where I'm From" as a model...This is what I came up with....I haven't turned it in yet...tell me honestly what you think!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere I'm Fromdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am from lampshades,
    From Duct Tape and Store-it-all boxes.
    I am from the ever-changing home.
    (Old, new,
    but all the same.)
    I am from the daisy's,
    The weeping willows
    whose limbs embraced
    a small child.
    I'm from sprinkler days and trying eyes,
    from Sylvia and Dean.
    I'm from the laugh-to-easy's and,
    cry-too-hard's.

    From "your too young to know" 's and,
    "You'll never understand" 's.
    I'm from pray every night,
    although I never did.
    I'm from a big city and a village across the seas,
    peanut butter and animal crackers
    From the Newspaper work of my Grandfather,
    who I never knew.
    the only tear my Grandmother cried.
    Up high on a shelf,
    dusty and wanted to be forgotten
    memories fade away just like the time;
    I am from these moments-
    torn away at the stem-
    Leaf- trampled beneath the family tree.






    Submitted on 2005-09-02 18:33:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      AMAZING , i loved it adding it to favs right now but seriously what awsome flow it was long and i am awfull and dont always get througth the longs stuff but this just went so easliy i am soo impressed truly amazing work
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. The changing world we live in.
    My favorite part is the last part.

    "Up high on a shelf,
    dusty and wanted to be forgotten
    memories fade away just like the time;
    I am from these moments-
    torn away at the stem-
    Leaf- trampled beneath the family tree."
    Keep up the good work.



    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    72935

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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