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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: DRINKING HER INdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 636
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 420



    Description:
       THIS IS ABOUT THE FEELING OF WORSHIP WHEN LOVE IS ALL CONSUMING AND THE FEELING OF BEING UNWORTHY OF IT ALL


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDRINKING HER INdots
    -------------------------------------------



    She is sweet to taste
    Like raspberry liquor.
    The room smells like burning leaves
    There is comfort in her nakedness
    Like a road well traveled, and yet still new
    She is my midnight sky , my quite ocean
    Her breaths are like music, sweet rhythm
    Our nights are like a constant prayer
    I am forever on my knees, bowing.
    So near and still so far above me.




    Submitted on 2005-09-02 19:12:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      oh, this is beautiful! the raspberry metaphor was genious too. well in my opinion you are a brilliant writer and poet. you need to make a copy of this one because it should never be forgotten.

    great work!
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
      The raspberry liquor is a good metaphor, very poignant. The "midnight sky, quiet ocean" is a little overused. Try finding better comparisons. I'm not sure the "female as God" works here, but it's an interesting way to phrase love. This poem feels like it needs to be longer... but overall it was pretty good.
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Rhap-chan | [ Reply to This ]
      wow deep. This write was ok. Was kind of over my head. I couldn't get into it. Sorry.
    Thanks for sharing it. Keep up the writing.
    Have a good weekend
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]


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