[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Dancing bombdots

    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1152
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1239

       Just something I wrote as I played old music. I bet you NOBODY will be able to guess where all of this is from.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDancing bombdots

    Dancing in the stars
    among the falling bombs,
    wouldn’t you have come along?
    We can live later
    right now we have come to die.

    We promised to never allow something
    so bad to happen again.
    Yet we turn around and allow it to go on.
    We eat the lies
    and never look at each other in the eyes.
    All have the same right
    unless woman, child, or gay.
    We hold arms together
    singing as we walk among the stones.
    Would you be here if I asked you?

    A purple taxi
    with a bright orange star.
    Take us away
    far away will we have no duty
    to our fellow man.

    A king am I
    or maybe the Queen.
    You always said I can be what I want to be.
    Dancing in the rain drops
    spitting in the snow.
    Did you ever think that I would just go?

    We shake hands
    as the other presses that little red button.
    The would could end
    as long as we didn’t care.

    They laughed, dancing in the bomb fire.
    Not caring what it would be
    looking back at it with another eye.
    We can live next week
    today we have come to die.

    Submitted on 2005-09-02 21:55:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i keep coming back to the thought of a world of our own making, where anything can happen... a dark twist on this, yeah, but that is what i keep coming back to... i really enjoyed it and i'm curious as to your thoughts when writing this one.
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by adw | [ Reply to This ]
      Very orignal, I really liked this piece
    "They laughed, dancing in the bomb fire."
    I love that line
    This poem creates a very vivid, unique scene in my head, thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Sugar | [ Reply to This ]
      A very good write
    I believe you were discussing the current state of affairs in the World

    I agree with a lot you said
    A lot of people our not treated fairly based solely on their belefs or other matters
    I hope and pray this changes
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Whatever you were listening to, it ended up pretty cool sounding. Like an odd cross between four or five eighties rock songs. Which is cool. It's somewhat random, but makes sense in that old musical fashion, and was a great read.
    | Posted on 2005-09-27 00:00:00 | by ForiBrizlay | [ Reply to This ]
      WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU LISTENING TO? it's seems really inspiring, tell me tell me. What can I say, I loved it from the begining to the end. Your such a good writer, I just wish I could do those similitude with life and imagination like you do. Anyway, keep it jup girl. ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Gothik | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know what to say about this one..instead I will say this.

    For everyday
    Our soldiers are gone
    Millions of tears
    Will hit the ground
    For every second
    Our men and women lay wouded
    The hatred in our hearts grows stronger
    Who will be here when this is all over?
    To catch the fallen
    Raise them back to their feet?
    You will
    I will
    The ones left behind
    Will forever be behind
    To help when needed
    To offer a smile to the hopeless

    Then theres Batman, you always need Batman.

    Aki...I can't be serious anymore, lol. I liked this piece, even though it confuddled me a wee bit.


    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      very confuseing, but it sounds like you know what your talking about. very descriptive and interesting, i enjoyed reading this, great write.
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by catie jo | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I have to admit I have no idea what you were listening to. But you said this came to you while listening to old music, right? So, what were you listening to? I really am curious to know,
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]