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    dots Submission Name: Soardots

    Author: Oracle
    ASL Info:    24/ F /NY
    Elite Ratio:    4.63 - 423/313/46
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Story/Passion
    Total Views: 964
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 527


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    He doesn't understand her passion
    He doesn't understand her love
    He only understands his use for her...
    the dead are walking

    She doesn't understand his cruelty
    She doesn't understand his hate
    She only understands her love for him...
    the angels are singing

    He is now counting the days until eternity

    Be rid of visionless men
    Be rid of his guilty sin
    May God Forgive Him
    because she now soars with HIM

    Submitted on 2005-09-02 22:29:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      When I read this the first time, last night, my first thought was domestic violence - emotional neglect - but then my angle on things is sometimes biased due to working in the social work field.
    This was an extremely well written poem. Your words very simply & very shortly said a book's worth of feeling.
    My take on the subject matter may be off, but this was a great example of the way a person can be taken advantage of - very nicely done
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very nicely done i have to say. you said a lot about how guys can be and what girls might be thinking in just this little bit. i found the ending sad cause in my mind when you said

    "May God Forgive Him
    because she now soars with HIM"

    makes me believe that he killed her also. which is very sad and i know that happens sometimes. any ways this was very good i have no complaints and i think this is going to become a favs by far cause i really liked this one!

    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree. skillfully done. unique, creative and powerful. reminds me of how men never understand women. probably never will. yet they know how to use them and leave them and everything but love them. excellent write!
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi, long time no read. I hope you're well. I like this one a lot. You used repetition skillfully here. This is really sad. In my mind, he kills her (because she soars with HIM, and I take that to mean God). I like how each stanza ends with a line that puts it in perspective.

    Lots of love,
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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