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    dots Submission Name: The Residence of Journaldots

    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 801
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 755

       3 in 1. Ickeh, stickeh and sickeh. Those are their names. I just named them. I wanted to post something from my journal, so, here you are. Free verse.

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    dotsThe Residence of Journaldots

    "Rye and tasteless
    iritating like a hangnail
    putrid and sinister
    the stench knocks me off my feet.
    A morbid sensation
    knees get weak
    and silent the rampage continues
    white the window panes frost
    the streetlight flickers
    and the clock chimes"

    "Go to bed
    Wake up
    @ cue of the alarm
    stick those needles
    in your arm
    it's only just begun
    won't do any harm
    battle to kiss the sun
    soon that battle's done"

    "Slit my wrists
    So I can feel
    Sit in the sun
    and let my skin
    crisp and peel
    never heal"

    Submitted on 2005-09-02 23:46:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm freeverse, yes. I must admit that I also didn't get the whole poem, I only got the impression that it's about a junkie in the last 2 stanzas - because of the motive (sticking needles in your arm). On the other side when I looked more into it, I got the feeling it is about the monotony of life...getting up and going to bed, every day the same , sometimes a day is changed a little (battle to kiss the sun), but that also, soon fades (soon the battle's done) so to kill this monotony, you slit your wrists (not you) and enjoy in the few exciting moments left in this life. I don't know if they were supposed to be connected but that's just how I interpret them :)
    Btw: the last stanza really rolls of my tongue nicely, great combinations of words!
    Be well.
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by shoggoth | [ Reply to This ]
      mmm I have to say I didn't follow this very easily. This is probably just me because I didn't see how any of this fit together but then again you said it was a free verse poem. To me though the ending seemed kind of depressing because it talks about slitting someones wrist and just dying. But like I said this could all just be me which it probably is. Well I think thats really all I had to say.

    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. I can't see anything wrong with it in all honesty. The way everything just fits together is great in my mind. I like how its sort of eerie and what not.

    The second part reminds me of a song written by the band Thursday.. Just about having a 9-5 kind of life. "Go to bed, wake up at the cue of the alarm." Yah, good stuff. Much enjoyed. :)

    End transmission.
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Mrs Peabody | [ Reply to This ]

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