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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hippiedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 944
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 245



    Description:
       Heh... This is about a dear friend of mine... My father doesn't like him much, calls him Hippie. He wrote me a poem and it's on my wall. I read it the other day, and realized i haven't seen him since the middle of summer... Hm. He was cool for the time, and we did end up getting together again, but the poem still stand, cause when we're apart, I still miss him. Not really meant for critique, because, it's pretty short...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHippiedots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart is bleeding
    Through a paper cut
    The poetry of yours
    Tearing the tissue
    Hippie...
    I miss you.


    (In smaller font) Crazy numbness of the brain... The paper is shifting... I got it...




    Submitted on 2005-09-03 20:05:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im glad u saw ur hippieagian. i love this poem even though its short. you know wat theysay, great things come in small packages
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      I remembered reading this before and loving it, so I just figured I'd come back and add it to my favorites. I'll be on my way now.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This had alot of potential for such a small write..I am goin to add this to my favorites for secret personal reasonsO.o unknown to most on ES and most in general...thnx man this fits into my existance is all imma say.
    ~silentXtoke
    | Posted on 2006-01-04 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoy shorter poems, but this one made no sense, did not exceed one stanza and is overall like my very early works. i really think you should just scrap this poem and move on in your writing career.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by buffaloman | [ Reply to This ]
      I so love the short ones. You've written this really well. It's very challenging to get so much emotion across in a few lines... I know cause I keep trying :-) The images are clear with just the right amount of emotion creeping through. Great write.
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      its a great poem and you have potential but its very short. It has very steady words but over all a brilliant write! well
    done from crazijessi
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by crazijessi | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I like this a lot because it's so minimalistic (I'm the resident minimalist around here), but you don't an apostrophe on yours because it's possessive as it is. The papercut reference sounds vaguely Cobainish. Peace and love, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Huh...

    I mean- just because someone has larger than normal sized hips- it's no reason not to lyke them...

    -okay- badd joke... forgive me. It is 5 am and I have not slept.

    It's a nice little poem though. She's the blade and I'm just the paper or something lyke that.

    I sleepy...

    Peace, love and tea-tyme for Mr. T

    ~MJ~
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww that is so sweet and so sad. I would have cried if I wasnt on so many anti-depressants. It's short, but perfect as it is. I love the length. It's amazing what you can say in only a few lines. I could feel all the emotion you put in to this. Beautiful wording. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, for such a tiny piece.

    I really like the "paper cut" reference to the poem that he gave you.

    Nice, but to stand on its own, probably needs to include the background of the story.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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