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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Saledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Inducted_Kitty
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 309/427/118
    Words: 523
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1010
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3240



    Description:
       Pay-back is a BITCH!!! Just something I wrote after hearing a silly joke...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots The Saledots
    -------------------------------------------


    The first day she spent just packing
    using boxes, wood crates and bags
    She cried herself to sleep that night
    after addressing all the tags.

    The second day the movers came
    they collected all of her things
    She went from room to room in tears
    then she removed her wedding rings.

    She placed them on the dresser top
    the symbols of love they had shared
    Then she put all her pain to sleep
    for she knew he had never cared.

    The third day, her last, was the best
    soon he would bring his new love there
    So, she feasted alone that night
    dressed in a gown with upswept hair.

    She sat at their dining table
    it's surface a dark glossy wood
    She dined on shrimp and caviar
    and drank as much wine as she could.

    When she'd finished with her last meal
    she went quickly from room to room
    She took left-overs from her feast
    hollow curtain rods were their tomb.

    She finished her task and was done
    she tidied the kitchen and left
    No note of good-bye did she leave
    of love and emotion bereft.

    Hubby then moved in his new love
    all was bliss for a few short days
    But a bad smell started forming
    like fish as it rots and decays.

    They searched for the cause of smell
    that got worse as each day passed by
    They could not find the source of it
    nor could they find the reason why.

    They paid a price to be rid of
    this great stench that did permeate
    The rooms were all scrubbed and rugs cleaned
    but the smell had become their fate.

    Never thought to check hollow rods
    where the ex had left her last meal
    They tried hard to unload this house
    to no buyer could they appeal.

    As the stench grew in magnitude
    he moved his new love out with him
    A sign up "For Sale" was their choice
    though their chance of a sale was dim.

    To the bank he went in great debt
    so another home he could buy
    The real estate had given up
    on the house stinking heaven high!

    She knew he would gladly now sell
    the home where she'd had her last meal
    So, she called him, and did offer
    a price, that for her, was a steal.

    He accepted her bid to buy
    this house of great stench he would sell
    To his ex, he felt no remorse
    Though he knew it's true value well.

    He thought that to unload this house
    was what he had to do - not sin
    Thinking that his ex knew nothing
    of the state that the house was in.

    So, she bought their home for a song
    and he moved all his things right out
    He was laughing and thought he'd won -
    of that he had no such a doubt.

    The papers were signed the next day
    amid secret and knowing nods
    But she smiled when she saw them take
    all the curtains, and shrimp-filled rods...





    Submitted on 2005-09-04 10:07:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lol...revenge is sweet-or in this case not so sweet. I loved every word...classic really classic. and they didnt look in the rods-funny. another well written comedy...how do you do it? so many things to write about and you turn them into funnies. brillant you are. another great poem.

    later days
    tracey
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      hahahaha karma baby it's a mean mother[censored]. it took me two reads to get it though but i got it now.Wife divorces husband, gets back at him by making house stink (food in rods), she moves out, husband moves in with new girl cant get rid of smell, they move out sell house at discount price, ex buys and moves in and notices the source of the stink was removed by husband/new girl unkowingly with the offending food filled curtain rods. haha wonderful. very funny and witty write Cheryl,
    mike
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahaha Cher. You made this up right? This isn't from direct experience is it? I bloody well hope not hahah... coz I'd be rather scared otherwise.

    I too was wondering where the comedy was in this as I read on... your punchline on the last line was delivered magnificently lol. Rods indeed. That's a good one. Maybe I should try that out when I decide to buy a house later on in life hahaha.

    Well I was definitely entertained. And that happens rather infrequently on this site I'm afraid. You have a knack for comedy you know. Take a bow! (badaboom! - that's that drum sound, you know what I mean hahah)


    Peace
    (Oh and of course fluffy homicidal bunnies lol)
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      haha .. it is a rare occation that i enjoy reading a structured poem like this.. but you are one of those rare ones that have a way with word that had me reading through it with a smile and kept my attention all the way to your twist at the end. cheers for the laugh

    christian
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by x-ianhoyskolt | [ Reply to This ]
      Very funny write and i loved the twist at the end,brilliant !Had me smirking in the beginning and laughing out loud at the end.Thoroughly great read,nice job cant find anything i would change about it.
    graham
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
      HA HA HA! This was absolutely terrific! I started out reading this and wondering, so how is this a comedy? I'm not laughing at all...but then the further along it got, the funnier it seemed. I started to chuckle, and by the end I was busting a gut laughing. Ah, how sweet revenge can be. I love the subtlety this woman uses, who would've guessed the smell was the curtain rods? Normally I'm more of a fan of free flowing rather than rhyme, but this is a perfect specimen of how rhyme can be good without disturbing the natural rhythm of the piece. Simply wonderful.
    ~Jen~
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Jengrr | [ Reply to This ]
      HAH! well this has to be one of the funniest poems I've read here...didn't expect the ending...now that hit a laughing chord...
    geesh! you did a fine job, you've been gettin' praises from my sister, so I had to see how good of a poet you were, and so far I'm lovin' it..
    geesh, good one on this one.
    -stacey-
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
       I truly find this hilarious. Normally, I wouldn't take the time to read pieces so long as this one, but the first stanza all the way to the last grabbed my attention. I found your flow to work well with the piece, and your liguistic outline was very well done. I wish I could be more helpful and offer more input, but I really don't find anything that can be changed because nothing disrupts the picture you were trying to create. I'm adding this to my favorites, just to be reminded of how funny unsuspecting revenge can sometimes be.
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Tears of Azrael | [ Reply to This ]


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