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    dots Submission Name: Playwrightdots

    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 718
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950

       I really don't know how this piece was formed--I was just listening to London After Midnight and somehow found inspiration to write a decent poem after two months of futile attempts. My last piece, "Disappoint," is clearly a disappointment, so I'm deleting it. This piece goes back to my original, more natural style I had before. I'll let you be the judge of its result.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I wait, alone, in unhallowed, desolate ground,
    My vision is blind; my wrists--both are bound.
    The earth is dry, divided by its many cracks,
    The sky is void of all colors save for greys and blacks.
    I'm among the dead, the ones and only,
    Without you, it gets less lonely.
    That's when the ghosts come howling, astir:
    I used to get so bored by how beautiful you were.
    We shared the same dreams, but come the end
    We realize Death is our only friend.
    Subconscious--I had never come to be,
    Our spectators found comedy in our tragedy.
    Lies, our script, was the dominant eloquence,
    A constant discoloring from your abscence.
    But they watched with delight our distorted play,
    The moral being that happiness is meant to decay.
    When we see that vacancy is all that's left,
    In the end we realize they are the only ones who laugh.

    Submitted on 2005-09-04 11:11:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice. Very dark. I like the different elements of darkness. When most people try and write dark poetry, they think simply one dark element is quite enough, but you seem to have surpassed that boundary with leaps and bounds.
    I love the way you describe your life as death. That is classic and it is wonderful. The best part about this is the fact that you don't have to be depressed to appreciate how true this is.
    Just great!
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by aletha_409 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really don't know what to say about this one, it is just a mix of different things that are all dark put into one piece, one this that made me stop and read again was when you say that your wrists are bound, i had no idea where that one came from and i had to stop and think about it, after reading the whole poem i still have no idea why you wrote that, other then that one line i got the rest of the poem and the message that you put into it, i like all the discrptions that you used, the one line that i really like is

    "We realize Death is our only friend."
    well this line i just like it i really don't know why but i guess when people are really down and it comes to death it does seem like a friend but it never really is.
    Now i'm going to say this because i say it to everone that writes with just lines, for me i don't know but i like the stanza form better because it groups ideas and it makes it easier to read, i'm not saying that you have too.

    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]

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