[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: New Orleans 8/30/05dots

    Author: SHRINKSDR
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 476/375/39
    Words: 267
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1165
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2018

       I know we have been all watching the tragic events unfolding in Louisiana and Mississippi and I just felt moved to write something.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNew Orleans 8/30/05dots

    New Orleans 8/30/05

    A raging, ripping, rapacious
    Wall of wind and water.
    Decimating all in its path!
    A twisting, torrent of natureís wrath;
    Crushes, rends and tears a city

    Levees fail!
    Unleashing a deluge of
    Tsunami proportions.
    Lives lost, families
    Ripped asunder, children
    Hungry, thirsty, dehydrated.
    Young girls raped
    And murdered!

    In one day the first world
    Becomes the third world
    The richest, strongest
    Nation blinks.
    The head
    Of the mighty giant
    Is asleep

    The leader confronted
    States he is satisfied with
    His Governmentís response.

    New Orleans.
    A national treasure~!

    One of the brightest
    Stars amongst the fifty,
    Now flickers and fades.

    Mihalia Jackson,
    Louis Armstrong,
    Fats Domino,
    Wynton Marsalis,

    The origin and the birth of Jazz!

    Gospel, Delta blues, Dixieland,
    Rhythm and blues
    All reflect and shape
    American character and identity

    A Nations Heart breaks!
    It wrings its hands in anguish
    At the Tragic events unfolding.

    I watch The suffering,
    Decaying corpses everywhere!
    Children sick and frightened.
    Acts of heroism, kindness
    And brotherly love that inspires!

    But human natures dark side
    Always present, expressed in looting
    Murder and rape!

    For all our technology and science,
    We are small and helpless
    Before natures might
    And our own primitive instincts!

    In the end as always
    Love, caring, empathy and faith
    Will brings us through.

    God bless the people
    And the city of New Orleans!!

    Submitted on 2005-09-04 15:46:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It was all George Bush's fault. His lung capacity is incredible. And the hypnotism he placed on only african americans, convincing them to stay...wow...

    if he were responsible for everything we blamed him for...he would be an evil genius.

    | Posted on 2009-08-05 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your grasp of the language and your usage of wording in this piece. However being a former lifelong resident of New Orleans I see it as an outsider looking in. There are many valid points you make in the poem however, as I said, outside looking in... too literal. Try mine "my home town" I think you might appreciate it. I do appreciate your feelings and emotions that spurred you to write this. Thank you

    Your friend
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      I want so bad to rant, and gnash my teeth, and spit at the heads of our government, and make such a stink that someone will do something!

    I do not understand how we can sit back and allow 'Dubya' to continue to reign. I can not understand how we can call national guardsmen to deployment in 24 hours, and yet it takes 4 days to get them to shipped to New Orleans to help Americans!

    Where was FEMA? Where was the Red Cross? Where was our Homeland Security? Is it not importnant because we didn't call it Hurricane Osama or Hurricane Saddam? Maybe we need to start naming the hurricanes after Dubya's enemies- then we'd get a response.

    I promised not to rant- I apologize. (But I'm leaving it!)

    As to the poem. VERY well written. Your choice of words was absolutely perfect. You certainly grabbed the heartstrings with the simply, yet poetically, stated points you wanted to bring through to the reader.

    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank You Steve,
    I am from New Orleans. Evacuated. My house is underwater, lost everything, but I'm blessed.
    I feel more so for the others who lost homes and loveones. I was disappointed when the media showed the looters as they stole. The looters (fools) were laughing and having a ball. They stole beer, hard liquor , jewelry and TVs. Ignorance and stupidiness! If I was still there, I would have to go for food and water. They sure and the hell could not watch a big flat screen tv. I was disappointed because I do not want people to think all New Orleanians are like that. What really hurt me so was how the government officials took their sweet time to start doing something. I believe if they would have reacted faster a lot of crime would not have happened. A lot of deaths could have been prevented. My family and I are not giving up...we are going back "HOME" and re-build. A very good write! take care, Wanda
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      A perfect expression of the picture that needed to be painted. You really swept this up into words and emotions, making the reader feel, and then feel some more. It's horrible all the things that have happened there, and are still happening, but this piece is beautifully illustrated and presented, and I'm sure if some of those that were there to experience this event could read this, would appreciate and understand all that you 've written here.

    You deserve a warm hug, and much thanks for sharing such an exquisite poem. I couldn't pick anything apart here, you touch the heart, and the concious of all that read this I'm sure. Wonderful work. May god bless those that are suffering.

    *hugs a plenty*
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      For all our technology and science
    We are small and helpless
    Before natures might
    And our own primitive instincts

    i liked that. its always good to know that someone cares enough to put words to such an unbelievably horriffic event. helping hands are the strongest ones. reach out~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a heartwrenching piece, Steve.
    Like most other Americans, I've watched the news coverage and shook my head at how little our gov't seems to care for our own. They jump to the aid of other countries in times of need and turmoil, yet when our own are suffering, they turn a blind eye.
    I hope, somehow, the people of Louisianna, Mississippi and Alabama are able to come thru this horror.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Itís certainly the biggest natural disaster Iíve seen in the U.S.; even Andrew and Hugo werenít this bad. And the devastation and desperation have been horrible to see. at least things are starting to improve with the people down there getting aid. Hopefully the death toll isnít as bad as everyone thinks it will be, though it will certainly be in the thousands. I doubt New Orleans will ever fully recover. I think most of the refugees being shipped out of state will wind up not going back.


    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderful poem! Such a heartfelt write that captures all of the tragic horror that so many people are living every day down south. I cant even begin to imagine what these people have to live as a reality to them. My heart just bleeds for every single person affected. The response from our government was disgusting and minimal at best at the time when they needed maximum response the most. So many have needlessly died in those crucial first hours and days that they waited for someone to help them. NOW Bush is there and trying to make it look like he is a good guy when in reality he is pathetic and should be deeply ashamed of himself and his government. I cannot express the magnitude of anger that I have and I feel! You have done a tremendous job writing this poem Steve! It is indeed well written and speaks volumes of truth! Even our own turned on each other down there, snipers and rapists and murderers. I just cant believe it! And you said it so well "In one day the first world becomes the third world". That just sums it all up right there! And another sad point is that when they built those levys so many years ago they were designed for a maximum of a category 3 storm and they have known this for all these years. It was just a disaster waiting to happen and someone should have done something about this years ago! Oh, I could just go on and on with this! Anyway, great job writing this one and I share in your pain and sadness for these people! God bless them all! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I along with the majority of others have sat and watched with disbelief at what has happened to humanity. To steal for food is one thing, I believe all of us would do that for our children and ourselves. But to shoot at people who are trying to help is simply NOT human nature. I have no idea what it is. Perhaps it's the druggies who are searching frantically for their fixes, stealing appliances, jewelry, guns, in hopes to trade them for drugs. I just cant understand it. What good are these material things when there is no electricity, water, food. But I digress. As far as your writing is concerned, I agree with much of it and too many innocent people have been forgotten not only by our government, but by their fellow man. I hope and pray for an end to this chaos.
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to handle this comment very delicately. This was a nice write and my heart goes out to those who deserve it. There are many innocent children and elderly or sick that are helpless and few that are peaceful and only waiting for some help. However, I'm angered by those that have taken advantage of this tragedy from the beginning. The ass cracks of society have shown their faces down there and it makes me sick! Primitive instincts? I guess if instinct is to kill and rape and rob when tragedy strikes, I'm glad to say that I have no instincts. I also feel that heroism is extremely lacking and brotherly love is coming from every direction but New Orleans. I apologize, but I've been watching the news and keeping up with what's going on and I'm wondering where the hell the breakdown of humanity started. There are some very great people out there and people that my heart goes out to, there's others that I couldn't care less if they get the help they think they need.
    I'm sorry about my little rant here, but I've been so angered by those that have turned tail and run from those that they swore to serve and protect and also for those that have shown they have not a shred of decency.
    This was a really great write and I agree with the things you had to say for the most part. I also want to say that I am very sorry if I've offended you or anyone else. My thoughts and prayers are truly going out to every innocent and helpless person out there. For the others, I pray that there's some kind of mercy for them when they reach who/whatever it is they will come to when they reach the end of their days on earth.
    This really was a great write-it stirred up a lot of mixed emotions for me, but it's nice to see that there are so many willing to send there thoughts and prayers out to those that are suffering. Great job!
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah, you really nailed the impirant lesson here. this incident, though very sad, brought some really [censored] to light.. our illusion of the "richest" nation is now shattered! we should not be so ignorant so that we think our technolgy coyuld save us.. we are very small compared to mother nature and her potential terror.. we must always recognize this. (and you did!)

    it weird to, whenstructure breaks down, how people act like animals, very primal and very scary.. it goes to show that we are not as sophisticated as we think we are
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by purple_lips | [ Reply to This ]
      I had thought about writing something too, but don't think I could do justice to the tragedy or even get all my thoughts on it into one poem. It seems you have though and I admire your ability to see and report and convey all those things and then turn it into a prayer for all of us to share. I had always wanted to go there and now it will never be what is once was and neither will our country. and we all know we can't count on our government to save us from terrorism or nature's fury or anything for that matter. and unless you're rich, you're on your own! you lost everything? too bad, too sad. not my problem. that's pretty much the president's attitude. he has food, shelter, and then some. he showed up there only out of pressure and will no doubt do little to restore anything.
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
    This is an exceptional dedication to, as you said, "One of the brightest stars..." To many of my friends living in other countries I have been ashamed to be called an American this week, but you have shown that there are a few with blood that flows red, white and blue - in the true sense of what we are supposed to be - a rich nation filled with compassion for our fellow man...
    Your words were well chosen, the reference to the famous and history of Louisianna - right on.
    Thank you

    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Steve wonderful dedication and shows your altruistic nature. its sad to hear of those rapes and murders, I haven't watched the news lately probably for that very reason. people who take advantage of a situtation like that are not people to me. very nice one Steve. I have to put it up its an insta fav in honor of your unselfishness, your feelings, and to those who still suffer,
    | Posted on 2005-09-04 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      What a tragedy this was and still is. There are still those that has no shelter, but camp out in their own yards. Some has made themselves tents of some sort, while others have not. Alot are still in shelters with only cots and no cover, sleeping next to strangers. No Christmas for so many, no home to go back to, no money to start over.
    My son has slept in his truck when the weather at night was 28 degrees, so that someone else could have his cot. He doesn't live there, never knew this precious people. But he felt he had to be a part of helping them in some way, so he loaded up his truck, took vacation off of his job, left his baby and wife to go help rebuild and do what he could.
    The tales he brought back home of the condition some are still living was heartbreaking...
    And this poem that you have written, beautifully describes the tragedy New Orleans is still in...
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]