My head pounds
more thought-bruised than drunk.
I've been thinking of you for days,
and I can't stop even to sleep.
Your face haunts my waking dreams,
and when the sun stabs my eyes,
I'll go look for you
if I can figure out where boys
who are more beautiful than dreams
go on Saturday mornings.
I liked the ingenuousness--of this piece--a hallmark of your style. I always admire how everything you say--- is so poetic---OR--is it that your poetry just echoes your words? No criticism, just compliments--so sorry, silver
Like all of the other commenters, I too love the ending lines...They are unexpected because no one would think to describe boys as beautiful even though they can be. That is what stands out...Kind of reminds me of the Eagles song...with the lines "After the boys of summer have gone."
My only critique may be in the two uses of the word dream in such a small piece. "waking dream" is something that is seen time and time again in poetry.
I love the words "thought-bruised"....very good turning of a phrase.
ha ha! this one was funny - didn't expect that from the title! i don't know any boys more beautiful than dreams, but if i did, he would probably have gone fishing (can't imagine why though - i've never fished for anything expect compliemnts in my entire life).
This is right up there. Yearning and its attendant headache - classmates. Stablemates. Really eloquently done. For me: 'I'll go looking for you' and 'Go to on Saturday mornings' But disjointed also works... K
Sometimes I eat a culinary delight where the taste was interesting, but it was the aftertaste that really made it special. This poem is like that the afterthought lingers and grows more pleasant even if I can't remember the taste. Real virtuoso stuff. I wonder if you would write it the same way though...I mean, wouldn't punctuation and no capitals at the beginning of some lines help flow? Nonetheless, thundering applause for a great thought eloquently conveyed.