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Author: morte
ASL Info:    17/female/earth
Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430 /348 /55
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1272
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 394


Give me a better title if you can think of one...

i have no clue what it's about, but it wouldn't leave me alone till i wrote it so whatever...

any suggestions are appreciated


Peering into the dark
Trying to see with eyes wide shut
Walking in order to escape
Feet hitting solid air
Speaking a language
Of words that don’t exist
Screaming them loud as I can
So no one will notice me
Grasping at reality
Pulling back mere fragments
Cutting open my soul
With the shards of nothing

Submitted on 2005-09-04 22:39:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This was awesome alex. i like all the different contradictions you came up with! i especiall like the last was nice and dark-like. i think though, that you could add more to this...i think you should add maybe a more...deep meaning to the poem...i think there is one now...but it is left kind of dull...i like it though, it is great. but there are so many contradictions that you could add to this to make it a "boom" know...well, yea, anyways...i miss you! we should go back to GE together...i will talk to you later.

| Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
I love the title, contradictions, in a way it fits to the piece. The thing that i didn't like about it is that you made it so short. There is so much more to be said about this piece and yet you leave it so untold and remained in the dark. Let it shine, let the light and the enchantment behind your words bring out the meaning of it.

I know you were trying to make a figure of speech here "eyes wide shut" but in this case, you really didn't have to do that. In a way, it kinda off tracked me, that part alone.

Just a thought but how can u walk if you really want to escape, won't you be running?

Solid air is another thought to think about. scraming loud so no one will hear you.
These thoughts are very conradictory. I'm not sure whether it's done on purpose but at first i didn't realy agree with what you are saying but then it kinda applies to a lot of things that in reality don't really make too much sense.

Overall, I'm not really sure if it's the best piece i've read or is it the worst. It's very contradictory, but i will tell u one thing i am sure of and that is that i enjoyed it very much just thinking about it. So keep writing those words of yours and take care until next time.

| Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, so that is the perfect title.
I like this piece. The reason I like it is because it is so true to life. Life is full of contradictions and this shows it...
life's biggest contradiction is getting hurt with the best thing in the
| Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]

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