i like this a lot. the title really caught my eye. i knew right away you weren't talking about the actual world crash but YOUR world crashing. this really touched my heart. i know exactly how you feel. i can feel your hurt and your anger. this is excellent. my mother didn't want me.. so i can kind of relate and my father didn't want her. so yeah. if you ever need to talk just let me know. my s/n is v3nic3 qu33n.
the only thing i would work on if i were you is puncuation, capitilization and rhyming. your rhyming and rhythm is a bit off.
I think the flow was off a little, but the point still got across. I know how sad it can be when someone you love and respect ( asuming you respected him) leaves you out in the cold. It hurts. My daddy left me too.
Wow, I totally feel this. When my parents decided to separate (they later divorced) I was torn apart. My dad left, my whole world went with him. He was my best friend and then he just got up and walked out. I know it'd more complicated than that, but that's still how it feels. I hated him for it. FOr how he hurt me, how he left me. I loved this one, It captured the emotions, at least for me, really wonderfully.
i also know how you feel except my dads been gone since i was like four and ive only seen him twice since then. but i can realy feel your pain and anger in this poem. i realy liked it. but remember what dosent kill you only makes you stronger. maybe his leaving will make you a better person. so keep your head up.