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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cruel Ritualsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Inducted_Kitty
    Elite Ratio:    4.3 - 307/422/109
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1442



    Description:
       The italics are me speaking from my heart, the other is merely prose, but they all tie together, as their bond is grief...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Cruel Ritualsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wearing black, I stood in the white light of your innocence
    In my sorrow, I shared your new peace and comfort
    From arms that you could never find here.


    Standing in front of the mourners, I cried
    my back hiding all of my tears
    I'm waiting for God to absolve you now
    and I'm looking back over the years...

    I search for some kind of sanity, gazing at your face
    A face that no longer sees my pain to comfort
    I stand alone with all of my fear.


    This ritual of burying our loved ones
    is cruel to the ones left behind
    Yet a necessary rite, we must honor
    A soul that was giving and kind...

    Standing at your gravesite, the finality setting in
    Torn between my own grief, and your longed for escape
    Wishing for something I've lost inside.


    Knowing now, that this loss is forever
    Death never gives back what it takes
    My tears falling down on your casket
    as slowly my heart cracks and breaks...

    Though I know you are free from your sorrow
    For me, there is no tomorrow...

    So, along with this rose I leave for you
    I tear out my heart, and leave that too...




    Submitted on 2005-09-05 21:39:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      what a very sad poem. you must be incredibly strong. the last line is devastating. it is delivered with simplicity and stoic grace.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      Cheryl, my heart goes out to you. It must be so hard to even be there when all you wish is to bring back that innocent soul who's life has been taken and you want nothing more than to be there for that person, to be able to hold that person. I cannot even imagine the sadness you must be going through but i do know one thing is that you have people who care for you and who will support you through this time of pain.

    You must keep in mind that he would of wanted you to be happy and you must honor his memories. Remember them and cherish them with love and understanding. only until then will you find the peace within yourself.

    Keep writing your thoughts out. it helps a lot. By the way nice title. Loved it deeply.
    Take care.
    Peace...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      I am speechless, this was beautiful. I wasn’t familiar with the circumstances of your poem, so I visited the memorial site you referred to and after that read your poem again and it touched me even more. I can only imagine the heartbreak you are going through and you have a great talent expressing that through your poetry.
    I must agree with the one comment, the last lines completed the poem like no other words could have. Wish I could say more, but there’s nothing to change, this was simply beautiful! Definitely a favourite.
    Good luck and just try to live life one day at a time, things will get better

    Love
    Lee
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      this is sad.. um.. I am not sure if I like the rhyme scheme however, maybe because I dont like most tight rhyme schemes... did you count your syllabuls.. because I think I hate that to...
    but anyways. I am not hatin because I think this poem was neccessary ... you are comming to terms with one's death, not trying to win som e damn poetry contest.. so yeah,... keep on writing
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm filled with intense sadness reading this and offer you agan Cheryl my warmest thoughts and my sincerest deepest sympathies for your losses. that last two lines are the most heartbreaking and despairative for me "So, along with this rose I leave for you, I tear out my heart, and leave that too..." God bless you Cheryl. May you heal in comfort and peace,
    mike
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      [sigh...]you are riding my emotions today. a sad to comedy to sad. today this will be my last comment...i hate the feeling of tears in my eyes and you always seem to be the one putting them there. First it is your "Brothers in Heaven", now...I am yet again at a loss for words. Your ending,

    So, along with this rose I leave for you
    I tear out my heart, and leave that too...

    [sigh] again. personally i have never been to a funeral nor do wish to witness one. you have said enough to keep my feet from such overstepped soil.

    ...again your words sadden my heart...but thats the joy of reading your poetry. Your writing mood changes. It goes from comedy to serious to loving. Thats why I never bored with you. Seriously though, you have outdone yourself yet again. And seriously this is the last poem I will be commenting on today, my eyes about to drip with tears and I cant let that happen. But I will be by tomorrow to finish the rest of unread poems.

    Tracey
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]


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