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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nakeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 906
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 547



    Description:
       

    Written In 2002.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNakeddots
    -------------------------------------------



    Why are we even still together……
    We use to be worse but now we’re not much better.
    You will forever….
    Be that one who doesn’t really see me.
    And of my problems with you that is the center.
    Would you know what I mean…
    If I said I scream sorrow at night in my dreams.
    Because this is no longer what I need.
    Or that I still do cry in silence,
    But now because of the new found compliance in me.
    I stand here naked before you asking,…….
    What do you see.




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 02:30:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,
    This poem sounds like most ruined relationships i've always came across with. Are you still with that person? Did he come to see you for who you are or is he this so called love that you will remember ending up bitter?
    Don't know. This piece is very insignificant to me to be honest. The only part i like was the part where you confronted this person and demanded an explanation. Most people oftenly dont do that because they are so blind by this thing called love and they'd do anything just to keep that person close even if it means destroying themselves for it. I'm glad you realized that but other than that. I don't really feel much for this piece but i do like the title(lol).

    Anyhow, keep writing. It was still worth reading and worth the time for commenting cause i know you can write some amazing things. Take care.
    Peace...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and powerful sentences. You’ve written this quite some time ago, hopefully things look better now, cause I know there’s nothing worse than being in a relationship that’s going nowhere.
    I found the poem very ironic, but still a bit hopeful towards the end, cause you’re actually trying to confront this problem.
    Sorry, I’m not very talkative today, just wanna drop a line and say that I enjoyed your poem.

    Love
    Lee
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      I see nothing. Hehehehehe!!!!!!! I like all things nude. Especially if that nudess reveals amples.... Sorry, I'm drifting here. I like your rhyme that you have going hear. Second line is such a good line. I would not have thought of putting it like that. "I scream sorrow at night in my dreams"??? Do you really literally do that?? I found this quite confusing. You must be mostly sad, the character in the story I mean.

    Lata
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by K | [ Reply to This ]


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