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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: K
    ASL Info:    26/Namibia/Africa
    Elite Ratio:    5.64 - 183/172/46
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 866
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1027



    Description:
       The very first song I wrote. This was back in 1998. It's weird. I wrote it on this day that I was just consumed by thoughts of this girl. She was never mine though. Not that chicks are possessions.

    I think a lot of people can relate. Many have loved people that don't feel the same as you do. Whatever comments...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGirldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Girl, do you know I love you?
    Girl, do you know I need you?
    Girl, donít you know my heart beats for you?

    Ache is what I feel inside me
    When youíre not here beside me
    When will it go away?
    When will I know you feel the same?

    Girl, do you love me?
    Girl, do you need me too?
    Girl, does your heart beat for me?
    Girl, I feel so near you
    Girl, I feel so close to you
    But why am I so empty, Baby?
    Why do I feel so lonely?
    Why, why, why?

    Girl, do you know I love you?
    Girl, do you know I need you?
    Girl, donít you know my heart beats for you?

    I want to hold you tightly
    Squeeze and feel you closely
    Love is all I ask of you
    Love is all I need

    Girl, do you love me?
    Girl, do you need me too?
    Girl, does your heart beat for me?

    Girl, you are the only one for me
    The only love I need






    Submitted on 2005-09-06 03:17:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think back in 1998 this song would done something for me... 1998 is kinda the end of the backstreet boys and the welcoming of those boy band things... (they still freak me out but thats ok) and so back then when this was written it woulda been brilliant.

    obviously you may have guessed that im not really down with this song but it is really hard to read something written so long ago and not judge it by todays standards... ya get me?

    you said in your description that this is the first song you wrote? are you still writing? (i sure hope you are!) do you play instruments? (if so what?)
    im really jealous that you are able to write something like this... i really am... i play almost every instrument imaginable (with exception of bagpipes, flute and mouth organ (but i intend to learn the mouth organ hehe)) but i cannot seem to write lyrics that work for me or accompanying music...

    your message is clear through your lyrics...
    its true... sometimes ppl dont reciprocate the same feelings as you and thats a hard thing to accept but its also a hard thing to judge... right through this song you are questioning questioning questioning and yet you dont seem to get any answer... this could be because shes working herself out or coz she doesnt know how to say no without hurting you or maybe the answer is portrayed to the listener through the music itself (and that is one reason that just reading lyrics isnt always enough for me... ya know?)

    while i am tempted to say you have WAAAAAAY too many 'girl's in here i realise that back in the day this was the way we ddi pop music (even though ive never been a pop music kinda gal)

    anyways... ill be appearing on your page to check out some of your now stuff... see ya right soon...
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      A very moving piece..very sombre indeed especially when that significant other doenst even feel that emotion...It can be fustrating..However, you have beautifully expressed the love that you feel and you desire her to feel for you..I love the way you keep on asking how she feels...It is so heartwrenching, but its captivating..I love the state of this piece...its not too attached, but you innocently question how they feel cause love has a way with one's heart..It just softens the heart..Moreover, I loved the flow of this piece...This is a very simple and very moving piece...Be happy!Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      mmmm, looks like something I'd hear on the charts lol, it's quite good. The lyrics are honest and frank.

    Though, there's not much emotion u noe what I mean? I don't know, I just feel that you are not going straight to the point. Well yah.

    it's kewl though, but I think people will get fed up, by the repetion of the word girl, lol

    but it's a kewl write for a first timer!

    rock on!
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Writer Chic | [ Reply to This ]


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