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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Magicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 678
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1600



    Description:
       Just one of those nights...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMagicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is magic in your lips,
    The way they look when you say my name.
    No matter how many times I kiss you,
    They always feel the same.
    The way they curve into a smile,
    The way they feel upon my skin,
    The way they release those words
    That hide what is truly within...

    There is magic in your eyes,
    In that alarming shade of blue.
    There can be no hiding here,
    The eyes can see straight through.
    In them, I see your love,
    And I see your fears.
    They've been known to fill with lust,
    I've seen them overcome with tears...

    There is magic in your smile,
    That disarming ray of light.
    Just a slight curve of your lips,
    And I forget what's wrong and right.
    It goes straight to your heart,
    That smile that pulled me in.
    It seems like life is hopeless and dark
    Until you smile for me again...

    There is magic in your skin:
    The feel, the taste, the smell.
    Just to hold you in my arms,
    I will go through hell.
    The scent of you drives me mad,
    I would do anything to please.
    To feel the touch of your hand,
    I would get down on my knees...

    There is magic in your body.
    There is magic in your heart.
    There is magic between the two of us,
    I feel even when we're apart.
    This magic captivates me,
    There's nothing that I won't do,
    To keep you here, by my side,
    I would give my world for you.




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 10:39:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Damn, this made me miss my boyfriend REAL bad...lol...you are so right in what you say here. Some people really do just give off this magic..what we feel for them is magic..and everything about them...is simply magical. I loved the way in which you wrote this...and at the end saying you'd give your world for that magic you talked about...beautiful. Great job. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one. Some of the rhyming seemed a little forced but other than that I thought it was good. I am talking to a new guy and I just feel everything about him that you have explained. It is such an awsome, overwhelming feeling! Great write.
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. The effect of having each opening stanza repeating 'the magic in' gives an effect of lust for the person, it leaves a powerful image of the person being described. Great stuff.

    - Master Raz
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      I wish people would write more about the funtioning clauses in present day america. It seems
    worn to constantly discuss our issues on relationship dilemmas. It presumes unintresting after a certain time frame. If you rattled a personal theory on any general subject, such as labor laws or political perspectives, more people would either learn something they never knew, or they would have an aroused dispute, resulting in a more affective comment, rather than just..."that was a great poem...you seem troubled, it was a great write though".

    -Sharon Marroquin
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]


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