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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a wooden rose (revised)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sanjhana
    ASL Info:    21/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 118/154/45
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 446
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359



    Description:
       sometimes i feel like a wooden rose.. unfeeling and meant to please others.. i feel like i'm constantly being put on the spot and analysed and i wanna be left alone. i often try to break away from such a thought process... but fail in my attempts..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa wooden rose (revised)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    a rose made of wood,
    a heart misunderstood,
    if i could,
    i'd want to be good.

    the lack of sweet smell,
    the deep empty well,
    i want to be compelled,
    to try and leave this hell.

    no petals shook,
    the despaired look,
    i'm crying a brook,
    i wanna be off the hook.




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 13:13:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A Good Read! Like everyone else said, the image and concept of a wooden rose is wonderful. Making such a waring material fragile really suits the message. It's also different in the way roses are associated with death and love, whereas this seems to be more reflecting, and almost blaming. Well written!
    ~ Chris
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Uriel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi this is a nice piece, it is very artistic. The idea of being a wooden rose is very nice and refreshing. I really do understand what you are saying in this poem.
    The beginning of the poem describes what you are. The next stanza you tell us how you feel, at the end you tell us that you don't want to be a wooden rose. Simply perfect, although I do agree with joy7542 the ending got have been better.
    With love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty neat...a wooden rose, what a concept. Even wood has a nice scent...depending on the tree it is from. And the petals never fall off, ya know? I liked this write. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the point..
    and loved it all but the end.. it just didnt seem to be right..

    'the lack of sweet smell,
    the deep empty well,
    i want to be compelled,
    to try and leave this hell.'

    i really love that.
    i think it shows really powerful emotions.
    as i said.. the end just didnt seem right, it wasnt as powerful as the rest.

    i think maybe by trying to make it rhyme it ended up throwing it off a little bit.

    i could really feel your emotion and sadness in this.
    the whole look of being a wooden rose was well thought of and very imaginitive.
    good job on this, i hope to see of your work-
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]


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