[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: a wooden rose (revised)dots

    Author: Sanjhana
    ASL Info:    21/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 118/154/45
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 458
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359

       sometimes i feel like a wooden rose.. unfeeling and meant to please others.. i feel like i'm constantly being put on the spot and analysed and i wanna be left alone. i often try to break away from such a thought process... but fail in my attempts..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa wooden rose (revised)dots

    a rose made of wood,
    a heart misunderstood,
    if i could,
    i'd want to be good.

    the lack of sweet smell,
    the deep empty well,
    i want to be compelled,
    to try and leave this hell.

    no petals shook,
    the despaired look,
    i'm crying a brook,
    i wanna be off the hook.

    Submitted on 2005-09-06 13:13:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A Good Read! Like everyone else said, the image and concept of a wooden rose is wonderful. Making such a waring material fragile really suits the message. It's also different in the way roses are associated with death and love, whereas this seems to be more reflecting, and almost blaming. Well written!
    ~ Chris
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Uriel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi this is a nice piece, it is very artistic. The idea of being a wooden rose is very nice and refreshing. I really do understand what you are saying in this poem.
    The beginning of the poem describes what you are. The next stanza you tell us how you feel, at the end you tell us that you don't want to be a wooden rose. Simply perfect, although I do agree with joy7542 the ending got have been better.
    With love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty neat...a wooden rose, what a concept. Even wood has a nice scent...depending on the tree it is from. And the petals never fall off, ya know? I liked this write. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the point..
    and loved it all but the end.. it just didnt seem to be right..

    'the lack of sweet smell,
    the deep empty well,
    i want to be compelled,
    to try and leave this hell.'

    i really love that.
    i think it shows really powerful emotions.
    as i said.. the end just didnt seem right, it wasnt as powerful as the rest.

    i think maybe by trying to make it rhyme it ended up throwing it off a little bit.

    i could really feel your emotion and sadness in this.
    the whole look of being a wooden rose was well thought of and very imaginitive.
    good job on this, i hope to see of your work-
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fólkvangr written by emwren
    Unicorn written by Indaleco
    Society: written by MyPeriodical
    Pessimistic written by jackz
    Customer Service written by MaeLing
    Cell Division written by insanegemini
    Like A Ghost written by kase
    Omnipresent Torment written by metallichick786
    making the effort not to clear the table written by Daniel Barlow
    Rainy Moods written by Passionbyapathy
    Addendum to Runes journal of 6/28/2014 written by monad
    Son, at sea written by emwren
    A Nexus written by Ramneet
    Violet Sky written by Blue Monk
    Certain (Eyes) written by hyproglo
    Fearless written by Passionbyapathy
    Falling Down written by einna
    engrave written by trinityfinger
    Just Smile written by mdsouza
    Nightmare Man written by blankscreen
    For Your Maria written by Daniel Barlow
    End of August written by TheAirWeBreathe
    The Fork in the ROAD written by Apoetwcloudenvy
    Empericals written by Daniel Barlow
    Fighter written by juss_kriss
    some fuss about life written by Daniel Barlow
    Dearest Dad written by mdsouza
    Lustful Encounter snippet written by Apoetwcloudenvy
    I wish I could written by Dark Dann
    No Secrets written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]